The latest and greatest on CNN iReport, brought to you by Team iReport.
Team iReport had a very special visitor last Wednesday: globe-trotting iReporter Neal Moore. He has lived in Taiwan, South Africa, Namibia and Thailand, among other places, but this time he came back to the U.S. for one of the biggest journeys of his life: a four-and-a-half month canoe trip down the Mississippi River from Lake Itasca, Minnesota to New Orleans, Louisiana, on a mission to iReport the positive stories he found along the way. Fresh from this extraordinary trip, Moore had a lot to tell us about this uplifting experience.
Being a Mark Twain fan, he said he will never forget having the rare opportunity to spend the night in Twain’s boyhood home. But one highlight of his trip took him by complete surprise: his visit to the Louisiana State Penitentiary, surrounded on all sides by the mighty Mississippi. He was impressed by what he saw as the prisoners' efforts at true rehabilitation.
“It was sort of life-changing to go in there and to meet people who are in prison like this who are stepping up and accomplishing something through communication,” he said.
Regardless of where he went, Moore left feeling more positive about his home country than ever before. “From the top of the river down, I would find communities who are rallying around a central cause or theme, putting their best foot forward,” he told me, “whether it be Mark Twain, literacy, or fighting cancer.”
Moore will never forget this trip, and we will never forget meeting him. Click here for more of CNN’s special coverage of his journey, and watch for him on this month’s edition of “iReport for CNN” on CNN International.
Great Job and Project Neal :)
Cheers, Chris -- really appreciate it -- thanks a lot!
Hey Neal, enjoyed the report. I did the same trip last Sept 16 through Dec 1. Drop me an email at txsnapper@aol.com I am located in Austin, TX.
I love reading about journeys like this! We are on our own journey - albeit on two wheels rather than a canoe. My family and I are biking from Alaska to Argentina - exploring the entire Pan American Highway. Like Neal, we have met more than a few wonderful people during our 18 months on the road and are looking forward to more in the year to come. You can read more at wwww.familyonbikes.org
Nice job Neal, you konw life is a journey you must travel it well.
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Here is a suggestion to help later identify bodies for surviving families of Haiti. If the would cut a piece of fingernail or hair before they bury the deceased for later DNA analysis. This will help family members to identify them.
I'm not sure if anyone has suggested port-a-potties to cut back on sanitation issues. This will prevent feces, urine to be absorbed into the soil and prevent the spread of some illness, also you all could use metal or solar can to burn the blood and body fluids.
hope cnn get this mesaj or please send me the right place for my concerns.
i have a group of families who lives in petionville, Route Freres, they have not been eating or drinking. God had saved their lives now the're dying hungry. please help them with some food. food is being distributed in some areas, but not all. call Beatrice 011-509-3768-1026.
PLEASE,PLEASE,PLEASE GO HELP THEM (SL)
I NEED TO GO TO HAITI TO HELP, BUT DON'T KNOW HOW.
SEND ME AN EMAIL shermannedesvallons@yahoo.fr
thanks
I was educated in my medical profession to remove the victims from endangerment, and to leave the victims on the island, you will be creating a host for plague. I'm not sure if a the cruise lines or other ships are available to the people of Haiti, but this is a very inexpensive process, many ships as possible should be available so the people will at least have a chance to survive. To much time is being wasted. Also, the military should have been organized and placed by helicopter with the Haitian legal/political authorities to help around the island to help receive the food expediate. This is only suggestion if the Haitians cannot be moved. This is not just a test for the Haitians, this is a test for America and the world, and we are felling the test so far.
From: Scott Peden <scotpeden@cruzio.com>
Date: January 17, 2010 7:23:11 PM PST
To: undisclosed-recipients:;
Subject: K4P Greg Palast 1/17/10: The right testicle of Hell: History of a Haitian holocaust
Reply-To: Kucinich4President@yahoogroups.com
The right testicle of Hell: History of a Haitian holocaust
Blackwater before drinking water
by Greg Palast
1/17/10
1. Bless the President for having rescue teams in the air almost immediately. That was President Olafur Grimsson of Iceland. On Wednesday, the AP reported that the President of the United States promised, "The initial contingent of 2,000 Marines could be deployed to the quake-ravaged country within the next few days." "In a few days," Mr. Obama?
2. There's no such thing as a 'natural' disaster. 200,000 Haitians have been slaughtered by slum housing and IMF "austerity" plans.
3. A friend of mine called. Do I know a journalist who could get medicine to her father? And she added, trying to hold her voice together, "My sister, she's under the rubble. Is anyone going who can help, anyone?" Should I tell her, "Obama will have Marines there in 'a few days'"?
4. China deployed rescuers with sniffer dogs within 48 hours. China, Mr. President. China: 8,000 miles distant. Miami: 700 miles close. US bases in Puerto Rico: right there.
5. Obama's Defense Secretary Robert Gates said, "I don't know how this government could have responded faster or more comprehensively than it has." We know Gates doesn't know.
6. From my own work in the field, I know that FEMA has access to ready-to-go potable water, generators, mobile medical equipment and more for hurricane relief on the Gulf Coast. It's all still there. Army Lt. Gen. Russel Honoré, who served as the task force commander for emergency response after Hurricane Katrina, told the Christian Science Monitor, “I thought we had learned that from Katrina, take food and water and start evacuating people." Maybe we learned but, apparently, Gates and the Defense Department missed school that day.
7. Send in the Marines. That's America's response. That's what we're good at. The aircraft carrier USS Carl Vinson finally showed up after three days. With what? It was dramatically deployed — without any emergency relief supplies. It has sidewinder missiles and 19 helicopters.
8. But don't worry, the International Search and Rescue Team, fully equipped and self-sufficient for up to seven days in the field, deployed immediately with ten metric tons of tools and equipment, three tons of water, tents, advanced communication equipment and water purifying capability. They're from Iceland.
9. Gates wouldn't send in food and water because, he said, there was no "structure ... to provide security." For Gates, appointed by Bush and allowed to hang around by Obama, it's security first. That was his lesson from Hurricane Katrina. Blackwater before drinking water.
10. Previous US presidents have acted far more swiftly in getting troops on the ground on that island. Haiti is the right half of the island of Hispaniola. It's treated like the right testicle of Hell. The Dominican Republic the left. In 1965, when Dominicans demanded the return of Juan Bosch, their elected President, deposed by a junta, Lyndon Johnson reacted to this crisis rapidly, landing 45,000 US Marines on the beaches to prevent the return of the elected president.
11. How did Haiti end up so economically weakened, with infrastructure, from hospitals to water systems, busted or non-existent - there are two fire stations in the entire nation - and infrastructure so frail that the nation was simply waiting for "nature" to finish it off?
Don’t blame Mother Nature for all this death and destruction. That dishonor goes to Papa Doc and Baby Doc, the Duvalier dictatorship, which looted the nation for 28 years. Papa and his Baby put an estimated 80% of world aid into their own pockets - with the complicity of the US government happy to have the Duvaliers and their voodoo militia, Tonton Macoutes, as allies in the Cold War. (The war was easily won: the Duvaliers’ death squads murdered as many as 60,000 opponents of the regime.)
12. What Papa and Baby didn't run off with, the IMF finished off through its "austerity" plans. An austerity plan is a form of voodoo orchestrated by economists zomby-fied by an irrational belief that cutting government services will somehow help a nation prosper.
13. In 1991, five years after the murderous Baby fled, Haitians elected a priest, Jean-Bertrand Aristide, who resisted the IMF's austerity diktats. Within months, the military, to the applause of Papa George HW Bush, deposed him.
History repeats itself, first as tragedy, then as farce. The farce was George W. Bush. In 2004, after the priest Aristide was re-elected President, he was kidnapped and removed again, to the applause of Baby Bush.
14. Haiti was once a wealthy nation, the wealthiest in the hemisphere, worth more, wrote Voltaire in the 18th century, than that rocky, cold colony known as New England. Haiti's wealth was in black gold: slaves. But then the slaves rebelled - and have been paying for it ever since.
From 1825 to 1947, France forced Haiti to pay an annual fee to reimburse the profits lost by French slaveholders caused by their slaves’ successful uprising. Rather than enslave individual Haitians, France thought it more efficient to simply enslave the entire nation.
15. Secretary Gates tells us, "There are just some certain facts of life that affect how quickly you can do some of these things." The Navy's hospital boat will be there in, oh, a week or so. Heckuva job, Brownie!
16. Note just received from my friend. Her sister was found, dead; and her other sister had to bury her. Her father needs his anti-seizure medicines. That's a fact of life too, Mr. President.
***
Through our journalism network, we are trying to get my friend's medicines to her father. If any reader does have someone getting into or near Port-au-Prince, please contact 2 Haiti@GregPalast. com immediately.
Urgently recommended reading - The Black Jacobins: Toussaint L'Ouverture and the San Domingo Revolution, the history of the successful slave uprising in Hispaniola by the brilliant CLR James.
-
Article printed from Greg Palast: http://www.gregpala st.com
Therese Bernadeau would like to thank CNN and everyone who was looking for her nephew Gladiany Bernadeau and her brother Lafalaise Sylvain, they have made contact with the family and they're ok.
we will continue to pray for Haiti and those who lost loved ones.
Palestinians helped Haiti they sent them food and supplies even if they are at war. P.S. PALESTINE not Israel.
From the desk of,
Mr. Petrillo
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Great report, Neal. Hopefully the next journey even more memorable.
That was quite an exciting journey and quite a decent project by Neil Moore.
Hope this will inspire him and others on social works and to take part in different welfare campaigns for people from our lands.
Being a Dentist and owner of dental forum : http://www.todentalcare.com , i always wanted to spread the words of social work including cancer awareness and anti-tobacco campaigns.
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I love reading about journeys like this! we have met more than a much more wonderful people during our 18 months on the "forklift" trip. THX NEAL.
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The Funniest Jokes in the World
A scientific survey in 2002 attempted to find the funniest joke in the world. Thousands of people from dozens of countries voted on thousands of jokes. Each country had a different favorite. Overall, the number one and number two funniest jokes in the world, based on votes, are:
The funniest joke in the world:
A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn’t seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head.
The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?”
The operator, in a calm, soothing voice, says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.”
There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy’s voice comes back on the line. He says: “Okay, now what?”
The Second Funniest Joke ever:
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson goes on a camping trip. After a good dinner and a bottle of wine, they retire for the night, and go to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend.
‘Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.”
I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes,” replies Watson.
“And what do you deduce from that?”
Watson ponders for a minute.
“Well, astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three.
“Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe. What does it tell you, Holmes?”
Holmes is silent for a moment. ‘Watson, you idiot!” he says. “Someone has stolen our tent!”
The Funniest jokes in different countries:
Here are some of the top jokes in different countries:
The Funniest Joke in England and the United Kingdom:
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “That’s the ugliest baby that I’ve ever seen. Ugh!” The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!” The man says: “You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”
The Funniest Joke in the U.S.
The American data proved to be somewhat strange. Dave Barry is a well known humourist whose columns are syndicated in many American newspapers. In January 2002 he kindly devoted an entire column to LaughLab. At the end of the column he urged readers to submit jokes that simply ended with the punch line:
‘There’s a weasel chomping on my privates.’
Within just a few days we had received over 1500 ‘weasel chomping’ jokes.
One weasel joke scored very highly in the USA and almost became the funniest joke in America. Here it is:
At the parade, the Colonel noticed something unusual going on and asked the Major: “Major Barry, what the devil’s wrong with Sergeant Jones’ platoon? They seem to be all twitching and jumping about.”
“Well sir,” says Major Barry after a moment of observation. “There seems to be a weasel chomping on his privates.”
However, ignoring the weasels, the top American joke was…
A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer. His friend says: “Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man.” The man then replies: “Yeah, well we were married 35 years.”
The Funniest Joke in Canada
When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300 C. The Russians used a pencil.
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all wiry and frazzled up, my skin was all wrinkled and pasty, my eyes were bloodshot and bugging out, and I had this corpse-like look on my face! What’s WRONG with me, Doctor!?”
The doctor looks her over for a couple of minutes, then calmly says: “Well, I can tell you that there ain’t nothing wrong with your eyesight….”
The Funniest Joke in Belgium.
Why do ducks have webbed feet?
To stamp out fires.
Why do elephants have flat feet?
To stamp out burning ducks.
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