Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Overheard on CNN.com: Happy and single?

 

Comment of the day: “Maybe some of us have realized you don't need to buy the pig to get a little sausage. I like my single life.” --estrella123

 

Single and not angry

 

In response to Tracy McMillan’s Huffington Post column that grouped single women into six distinct categories (from angry to slutty), CNN.com’s Jessica Ravitz, who is single, fired back with a seventh, more broad-based reason: Life happens.

 

Many CNN.com readers agreed and cheered her article:

 

NY727 said, “Bravo! I'm 47 and just found the love of my life. I've had several long-term relationships, have been engaged and even had a child, but never married because something wasn't quite right. I've got great friends and family and have had a hell of a life so far...I wasn't curled up in a ball at home crying 'cause I had no husband. No, not everyone desires to be married or have children. Sorry, not all people think alike and if we did...how boring would that be?” RalfTheDog said, “It is one thing to expect people to contribute to making this world a better place. It is another thing to pressure everyone into living the same way.” auntieb9 said, “I'm in my 30's and single. I would love to be a wife and mother. However, I haven't had that opportunity as of yet. Instead of focusing on what I don't have, I'm trying to build myself into a person that can better contribute to society.” Masako52 said, “You go, girl. Also proudly single!” catNtheHAT said, “My 30's were the most difficult time in my life. Married people always wanted to know if I was gay, good grief. Their life is so great they have time to butt into the lives of everyone else?”

 

Others offered Ravitz advice:

 

Raevyn said, “Maybe it's not just you. Maybe you just refused to settle for the losers and jerks that wandered through your life and will find that amazing guy at 42 and will be still exceedingly happily married 10 years later.” Hokiegirl77 said, “Or maybe, Jessica, you just haven't met the one you want to spend the rest of your life with! There's nothing wrong with that. Being single and happy is better than being married and miserable. I'm your age and have never been married, and I'm happy! I don't care that people probably think I'm a lesbian or that I'm a bi#$^ or selfish, or that I will become the crazy cat lady- eh, I don't care anymore what people think about me!”

 

Americans killed by pirates

 

The four Americans whose yacht was captured last week by pirates in the Indian Ocean met a tragic end early Tuesday. Their vessel was being shadowed by the U.S. military, but two days from the Somali coast, a gunfight broke out. Ship owners Jean and Scott Adam and Phyllis Macay and Bob Riggle were found shot after U.S. forces boarded the vessel about 1 a.m. ET. Thirteen pirates have been arrested and will stand trial for their deaths.

 

Most CNN.com readers questioned the Americans’ risky decision to separate from their original group and head into “troubled waters.” MatthewBen asked, “Why are two rich American's sailing between YEMEN and SOMALIA?” sdb618 said, “I hate the fact that they killed these people, however sailing in those waters is known to be dangerous for this exact reason and they knew that.” realtalker1 said, “If you sleep in the jungle the lions will seize the opportunity.” rain4st said, “This is so sad but every time I hear about Americans or anyone else being hijacked off the coast I wonder ‘why in God's name would anyone sail those waters knowing what we know about the pirate situation over there?’ Note to sailing enthusiasts worldwide: stop sailing off the coast of Somalia!”

 

In defense of the yachting foursome’s decision, goodadvice said, “Do you realize that most of the world's waters are 'pirate infested?’ Do you have any idea how many people sail those waters on a daily basis without incident? These people didn't just go sail off into a pirate cove or something. This has nothing to do with being stupid or having no common sense.”

 

Other CNN.com readers had ideas on how to ward off future attacks.

 

Valpo02 said, “What we should do is put small military teams like the Seals on cruise yachts and take the pirates out that way.” Thawtpolice said, “This is clearly what happens when you pay ransoms. The pirates win. There is no easy solution.” Gopherit said, “The U.S./NATO should be able to devise strategies to deal with the piracy problem.” podbaydoors said, “Taking Americans as hostages never ends well. The US government will not negotiate for ransoms and yet the pirates can't get away. In the long run it helps Americans abroad but these poor folks had to pay the ultimate price so others can be safe. Very sad. May God bless them all.”

 

Gadhafi says he’ll die a martyr

 

Eight days into protests that have cost him control of eastern Libya and the support of some prominent Libyan officials worldwide, leader Moammar Gadhafi delivered a defiant, rambling speech Tuesday, refusing calls to step down and vowing to die "a martyr" in his country.

 

Nearly all CNN.com readers had similar reactions to his speech: ms38654 said, “Two words for Gadhafi: Go ahead.” Crystaldove said, “Gadhafi and his sons brutal murderous reactions to Libya's peaceful protesters have been exposed to the world.” RAM05 said, “I'm not really sure what he'd be a martyr to except tyranny, which really isn't anything to be especially proud of.” Lexxvs said, “If he is already talking about martyrdom it’s because he’s already lost and can’t find a hole around the world to hide, as he is despised everywhere.” ortegara said, “I don't think this coward Gadaffi will fight to the end, he will run like the chicken he is.”  But 123magic123 said, “So much sad wishful thinking. Gadhafi is now bombing Benghazi from the sea. Most of the army is still loyal to him, as are his tribesmen. It's now a bloody civil war and he'll win because he has the power and cruelty.”

 

Do you feel your views align with these c.ommenters' thoughts? Post a comment below or sound off on video

 

Compiled by the CNN.com moderation staff. Some comments edited for length or clarity.

40 Comments
February 22, 2011
Click to view bwhitc's profile

Single into 30s and 40s mixed in with comments about Americans being killed by pirates and whether or not Gadhafi will die a martyr? How about this one: I will stay single, even if there's death by pirates. Then, I will be a martyr for whatever.

February 22, 2011
Click to view Zebago's profile

Liz Lemon?

February 22, 2011
Click to view wmscot's profile

Three points :

1. Do not get married EVER ! It will cost you $$$$$$$

2.Do not go sailing in the Indian Ocean alone EVER ! Unless you have a US Naval Ship escroting you.

3. Do not become a martyr for any reason EVER ! You wuill be dead and the other guys get to have fun !!!!

February 22, 2011
Click to view shilpy's profile

many don't marry because they think they don't want to be blamed.

February 22, 2011

Men are not meant to be monogamous! The "institution" of marriage is a sham!

February 22, 2011
Click to view ENicolas's profile

@MarbergKiss: Yes. Only women are supposed to be monogamous. So doing the math there had better be a whole lot more women than men.

February 22, 2011
Click to view maineliberal's profile

women are single because

1. they want to be

2. they dismiss guys as not perfect

3. they want the bad guy over the niceguy

4. the nice guy is just a friend

5. your a niceguy but,,,,,

6. its me not you ...

February 22, 2011
Click to view SSBlurpe's profile

Wow "you go girl"? The majority of comments about Ravitz's article was she was sort of nuts, not for being single, but for the way she was responding to McMillian's article. What a dishonest reflection of the comments.

February 22, 2011
Click to view MonicaGee's profile

Here's the deal.  It is absolutely  wonderful to be married-  if you marry the right person. It is a great adventure, a comfort and a rich part of life.  I would not trade my husband for any other man in the world.

 

Secondly, it is a lie that men are not meant to be monogamous.  That is what I call an excuse to be unfaithful and the mantra of the immature.  A good man will be faithful to his wife.  If women accept this lie, that will be their sad reality.  C'mon girls, demand respect and you will get it.  If you let men use you, you become a cheap commodity.  It comes down to simple marketplace economics.   If you are discriminating, you will attract discriminating men also.   Accept less than what you deserve and you have a recipe for heartache.  Women have tremendous sexual power; more than they realize.  If a man is truly interested in a women, he will move heaven and earth to get her - permanently (ring and a date) . Girls, if a guy wants to live together- he's not serious.   A man doesn't rent a car he loves; he buys it. The problem is that women just hand over their sexuality and then wonder why things don't ever seem to work out. If you act like the prized jewel that you are, you will be cherished. You have to ask yourself.  Are you the plastic ring in the Cracker Jack box that anyone can pick up ?  Or are you a crown jewel, accessible only the prince ?  That girls, is your call and your key to luck in love.

 

The problem isn't marriage.  The problem is respect between the sexes in this generation and unfortunately, women have let themselves be horribly horribly disrespected. 

February 22, 2011
Click to view sonnycam's profile

Life doesn't "happen". You make choices in life. Ravitz' choice is selfishness, that's all

February 22, 2011
Click to view MALIBEANO's profile

Glad I am not thirty yet.

February 22, 2011
Click to view samunoz1's profile

Marriage is a quaint societal construct fueled by religious tradition and girlish notions of prince charming and happily ever after.

 

It also leads to, one would hope, balanced off-spring raised by caring, loving parents.  If you have no desire to raise off-spring in such a relationship then you can live a life of bliss in a life long Jersey Shore episode where you tag and shag the DTF's. 

 

But at the end no one will have been partner and witness to your life and you'll have no legacy ... or at least ones that will hate your guts.

 

Decisions, decisions.

February 22, 2011
Click to view LucieC's profile

Reading MonicaGee's comment made me pound my head against the wall a few times. I personally am NOT a car, or a jewel, or a plastic ring for cracker jack box. I am a human being, thank you very much. And I am not so insecure that I need to be 'bought' by a man to feel loved. That sounds quite sad to me.

February 22, 2011
Click to view KarminSense's profile

Ironically, the photo for the link to this article makes it look like she's flipping us off....

February 22, 2011
Click to view Guest86's profile

@estrella123 You're the pig. If a man ever said he wanted to "pork" you, you'd probably lose your cool. Have some respect and learn some manners. Your comment is enormously offensive.

February 23, 2011
Click to view JasonLeeVD's profile

Why are women single?  Because men like me have stopped looking.  The divorce rate in this country is over 50% and over 80% of divorces are filed by women.  The fact of the matter is that women are no longer worth the trouble, the expense, and the future lawyer fees.

February 23, 2011
Click to view generalnotse's profile

I have thought about coming out of the non gay closet myself.  I am 34 and single.  Have had many dates and girlfriends the same age never married or had children as well as many friends.  I enjoy dating, having girlfriends as well as sex.  But I really do enjoy coming home to a nice, quiet and peaceful enviroment with no one to answer to. 

February 23, 2011
Click to view one2three4's profile

I agree with JasonLeeVD and generalnotse.  I'm 30 and single.  My life is in full gear.  I won't settle for a woman who has a kid or has been married.  Or both.  Lately, it's getting harder and harder to find a woman who does not have a kid and or has never been married.  Why would I give up what I have just to say I'm married.  I won't make the mistake others have. 

February 23, 2011
Click to view logdropper's profile

Marriage = Leagalized Prostitution

February 23, 2011
Click to view logdropper's profile

*Legalized

February 23, 2011
Click to view Bassmeant's profile

it cuts both ways. women who dont want a loser? uh yeah... how bout the angry bitter overweight single moms who are just looking for the next guy so they can get payback on him for the last guys mistakes? or the ex husbands mistakes? oh yeah, dont forget the other reason you ladies are single = age requirements. you're allowed to post age limits but god forbid a guy posts a weight limit, he will get ripped for it. hey guess what, that age limit you've set is gonna keep you alone longer then any other excuse. if 40 is the new 20, and you wanna date guys int their 20's... do the math. you're dating teen agers who can legally drink. sounds like a solid relationship there. Until the guy decides he found something worthwhile and dumps you for someone his age. being alone and being lonely are 2 difft things. ill accept being alone because its honestly healthier. but im never lonely because all i have to do is look around at you guys and the views you post and it makes me realize that my life is actually fine the way it is, single or not. Peace

February 23, 2011
Click to view AquariusI's profile

To all of the single ladies: You have proven that you are a complete person without a husband. You have defied religion and ancient teachings and traditions, and gave new meaning to life and happiness.  A lot of people want to stay stuck in ancient traditions, and don't want to admit that marriage is not the solution to happiness. They have been brainwashed to believe that the only way for a woman to survive and to be complete is to have a husband and children.  Any woman that has to be married in order to be happy does not know how to enjoy life. As for being a slut, most married women gave it up to someone other than their husband before, or after they were married.  And for everyone (married, single, male, female) make sure that you protect yourself from sexually transmitted diseases and unwanted pregnancies.

February 23, 2011
Click to view AquariusI's profile

deanbressler - You are pretty narrow minded and out of touch with reality. You have been brainwashed.

February 23, 2011
Click to view ask2wice's profile

Ha hahahahaha! Most married men I know are miserable! They wish they were single! Wives fat and unattractive. By 40, the women got what they want (money, kids and security), but the men have not what they look for (love and sex). And try telling the truth - that women want money and men want looks - and BOY will women lambast you! And of course, young women think they are the choosers, as if they are perfect, and men are the ones who are to be chosen! Finding Mr. Right ... as if women are all Miss Perfects! They're not. Far from it!         

 

Then, there's the old abused women thing: "He hits me and treats me like crap, but I love him and can't leave him". And of the nice guy? "He's boring. I just don't "feel" for him". Go figure!

 

And the sad part about it? When women pass forty or fifty, if they are still single (or divorced) that's it! It's all over (most all of the time). Not a look, a stare, or being the focus of men's desires. "What happened"??? &The men? They're out looking for younger, shapely, attractive women. The young women want money, and if they (men) have it, they are still in the game.

 

Good luck sixty-year-old old ladies! Hope you like that kitty cat. And the locks on your door. And God help you if you never had any kids because Mr. Perfect never came along. Being all alone is a very sad thing! And time goes by fast! Very, very fast.

February 23, 2011
Click to view Arcwraith's profile

I couldn’t help but notice that there are no stories on CNN’s front page about the public workers in Wisconsin or Ohio today. I guess Lindsay Lohan’s court date and Alyssa Milano’s pregnancy are more important than the livelihoods of literally ten’s of thousands of Americans fighting for their work rights. I mean I guess being single in your 30s and 40s is more important than the civil rights violations of the people that serve our communities… right?

 

Has CNN been purchased by the GOP?

 

February 23, 2011
Click to view musicman1971's profile

Single and Not Angry

 

I am 40 and single living in Atl, and I don't want to deal with dating that 20 something, because we are not on the same level.  I don't need arm candy, because what do we talk about.  i want someone I can have a conversation with, about topics we can both relate to, or possible have been through because of our age.  Someone 20 something(not all) will ask who am I talking about.

 

And the whole thing about shapely attractive women, isn't always what men want.  I personally am a tall, athleticly built man, and I want someone in that same range. Those size 2-4's get no where with me, give me a 10-12 anyday.

 

And I am not wiling to settle for less than what I am looking for, and yes I am one of those nice guys that seemed to pushed to the back burner, because women are looking for that bad boy.  They will stay with someone beating them instead of someone that will love them.  I once was told by an associate that women are scared of a good man, because they have been so predispositioned by the thought their aren't any good men, that when they meet one they don't believe he is real.

 

So I might just grow old as one of the good men who's willing to stay single until he finds the perfect woman for me, and not the perfect woman.

 

February 23, 2011
Click to view Meedily's profile

If a meteor strikes the earth, I hope it impacts at CNN headquarters so we at least get a moment's peace, albeit a short one.

February 23, 2011
Click to view dmgg's profile

Great story.  The take away seems to be, women are never happy, so stop trying to please them.  I totally agree.  Much better things to spend my time (and money) on.

February 23, 2011
Click to view breboo's profile

While we are talking about marriage, let's talk about divorce. The average first marriage lasts 6.5 yrs, if a person remarries, they usually do so within 2 yrs of the first divorce and that marriage lasts an average of 7.8 yrs. We're talking over 15 yrs of your life wasted because you just had to get married. You may be left with debt, children that you now have to take of alone, and sometimes worse. I am single and I laugh at people in miserable marriages. The economy is bad right now, people are staying married just to have a second income, they dont even love eachother anymore. Learn to love yourself first :)

February 23, 2011
Click to view GeneralTarfu's profile

sure i'll get married just as soon as every girl i date stops getting fat after 2 years

February 23, 2011
Click to view mansbestman's profile

women are generally whores in my experience. I did finally find a good one but not before swimming through an ocean of total sluts.

February 23, 2011
Click to view ask2wice's profile

@GeneralTarfu. How do you like how most women get fat and REAL nasty after a few years of marriage, but let them get divorced and boy, watch how quickly that weight comes off. They're straight into the gym! Couldn't do it for their former husbands, but sure will do it to find the next one! A friend of mine calls it their "hunting weight". I guess there's a "now I'm married and don't care" weight too! Yes, men are guilty of this, but women are REALLY guilty of it. Talk about being self-centered, indulgent and deceitful! But hey, after a couple of years of being remarried, BACK comes the weight. Ever see a face and thighs and buttocks and stomach that is holding 50 -100 extra pounds? You don't want to (but many men have to)!

 

I guess this reflects society. The attitude is - what do I have to do to get the most benefit out of life for ME! It's sad, but that is reality in today's America.

 

PS. I would never marry a woman who was pro-choice. If she will end a pregnancy, she'll end a marriage. In a heartbeat! It is a true reflection of the makeup of her soul.

February 23, 2011
Click to view Ballab's profile

One word! Compromise.

February 23, 2011
Click to view mt1211's profile

All these comments are pretty funny to me...

 

Being 40 and divorced, I have found that the women in my geographical area are not interested in a nice guy as the generally indicate, but rather, they prefer a a-hole "project guy" they can break of his many bad habits.

 

That said, I have met a lot of really nice women.

February 25, 2011
Click to view Tammyk64's profile

Hi, this is mine and my husbands 3rd marriage.When we met I was 28 and he was 40. He was single and I had just left my husband with my two boys 11 and 4 he was my maintenance guy at the apartments I moved in too. When I met him he did not want a relationship and absolutely no kids. Well we ended up going out and about a week later he moved in. We are going on 19 years and couldn't be happier. the boys are grown now and they love him as much as they love me. He is the most loving and caring guy I have ever met in my life. I would never want to be single again or live without him. So always remember your soulmate is out there somewhere and you will find that person in time. I am proof. Tammy

February 28, 2011

MARRIAGE = $$$ no point in marriage you love someone good for you do it if you want. If you dont good for you to.

February 28, 2011

You don't need a pig to get sausage you need pig remains to get sausage

March 5, 2011
Click to view larena's profile

me single and not happy thank you

March 17, 2011
Click to view dustin101's profile

You guys know that if your a christain you have family all over the world. so we can have family in japan anywhere. And God let this happen for a reason. Be praying for Japan.

March 19, 2011
Click to view Jimmyjr2006's profile

I'm very disappointed to see that CNN is not reporting that Canada is taking part in the mission with Libya.  As a Canadian proud Canadian I think EVERYONE INVOLVED SHOULD ME MENTIONED.  We also are never mentioned either about Afganistan either, we were there from the beginning and again no mention of us either.  We Care about our troops and all troops involved in this huge mess so in the future I would love for our Country to be mentioned on your program.  I'm always watching CNN and I'm sure many from Canada wonder the same thing.  Were all in this together so lets finally get it done with these wars and live peacefully and bring ALL THE TROOPS HOME!!

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