Thursday, March 03, 2011
Overheard on CNN.com: Secret Facebook lives

 

Comment of the day: "I am married now and tell my wife about every email, phone, text or tweet I get from an ex. What she knows can't hurt her" --bnakka

 

E-motional affairs: How Facebook leads to infidelity

 

It’s no secret that Facebook secrets can destroy a relationship. Ian Kerner’s recent recipe for avoiding those breakups got many readers telling on themselves. Matt said it happened to him and his current partner: We had added our exes as friends, and it turned into a disaster for the relationship. At this point we have disconnected from Facebook and have been away from it for several months now. This has eliminated almost all of our fights."

 

LJT said, Sadly, I know of two marriages that have gone toe up because of Facebook. Both of them were happy marriages too.”

 

KoolKat admitted, “I was an addict. I had a Facebook account, and it consumed so much of my time. The drama, the annoying group requests, the occasional creepers and more finally made me quit my account. It's been a difficult ride, as my mind is accustomed to reading the gossip every morning along with checking out status updates. But, I can also tell you how genuine I feel when I meet someone in real life instead of in the virtual world after a long time. “

 

If you want to keep the relationship and the Facebook account, share it with your partner, some suggested.

 

Michael Wong said, “This ain't rocket science, people. If you want your relationship to be strong, you must not have secrets. Let your spouse know your Facebook account password. If you feel the need to keep secrets from your spouse, then you already have problems. Actually keeping those secrets will only create more problems. Joy said, “If you’re married, just have a combined Facebook account. And don't accept past relationship friend requests, because that will take you down memory lane, when it was left there in the first place.”

 

Unfortunately, this advice can apparently get you even more deeply mired in the world of Facebook.

 

Social Psychologist said, “Finally someone gets the problem with Facebook! Many people like myself have accounts only to keep tabs on their significant others to make sure their healthy marriage does not get slowly eroded by the mythical or pseudo-relationships originating in Facebook."

 

Nunajer Bidnis agreed, “Of course; you've no interest in Facecrook, but then your wife or girlfriend joins. Now you absolutely have to join and immediately downgrade her to a 'friend'. After that it's a game wherein you do nothing fun to avoid trouble while checking her page to see exactly how much fun she's having and what kind of trouble is therefore coming your way. Great, and all you wanted was a real-life relationship.

 

Work stoppage looms as NFL talks approach midnight deadline

 

For the first time since 1987, conflicts between owners and players may cause a time-out for professional football.  Some were annoyed by the complaints.

 

kscanuck said, “Now that's a union they could get rid of. Ridiculous pay for what they do.” sopark4000 said, “Oh these poor millionaires.” open400 said, “Let these players work a real job and real wages for a few days and they will realize how fortunate they are. Let these owners run a corner grocery store for a few days and see how small business makes money. To say these people are spoiled is an understatement.”

 

Others said they really would be OK without football. Pointless1 said, “Seriously. I'm just not willing to pay for those seriously over-priced tickets anymore.. Take the year off.” thedude2011 said, “I hope they do take a year or ten off. Maybe people will realize just how ridiculous this sport is and how nice it is to have the weekends free to spend with family. I stopped watching years ago and I don’t miss it at all. I would have missed important events like my daughter’s camping trips and family vacations. Thankfully I am no longer a slave to the 1pm kickoff.”

 

But bamagrad03 responded, “A lot of people use sporting events to spend time with their family. I go to a number of football games with my father, and it's a wonderful day spent together.” And Cato504 added, “Apparently you aren't from a city where football is a major family/social/community event. Try living in somewhere like New Orleans or Green Bay for a while.”

 

As for the money? neptuneguy pointed out that, according to the story, “the owners want more money, not the players.” Others thought that whatever the players made, they deserved. Cato504 said, “Supply and demand, the reason I can go see a basketball game for $10 is that even with an eighth of the number of seats as the football stadium, they rarely sell out. The NFL packs the house at the prices they sell.” mkelly9772 said that pro football players “put their health and future on the line while the owners rake in billions while sitting in a chair. They deserve every penny they can get, because without them there is no product.”

 

Postal Service says it needs law changes in order to pay bills

 

Top comment: "So many people don't have a clue what we've truly lost in this country. You would think the concept of a living wage for a fair day's work died back in 1776, when in reality even our youngest workers had parents that were able to enjoy the fruits of their labor. How did an entire nation get amnesia? " --AngryDeuce

 

Although the U.S. Postal Service has cut 230,000 jobs in recent years, it will need help from Congress to meet its financial obligations.  Some commented on how best to cut service. CNNsilenced  said, “The closest letter competition they have charges about 25 times the cost or more. I dare say our post office is a bargain and they should just go to a higher stamp price. Why kill over a quarter of a million jobs? iminFla said, “The USPS needs to go to 5-day delivery and stop door-to-door walking delivery. Neighborhoods that have mailboxes on their porch or mail slots in their doors need to have a community mailbox installed. The labor saved would be substantial.”

 

jaylee0289 pointed out “it is against the law for the USPS to make a profit. The USPS is mandated by law to be revenue neutral. Try running any business where it is against the law for you make a profit. “

 

APLVR said, “It’s time for many of these overpaid postal workers to retire anyway. The cost of postage has continually risen over the past ten years. Enough is enough! “

 

But AngryDeuce responded, “Are they really overcompensated? Or has the private sector beaten real wages and benefits down to the point that it simply appears so?  It's funny, and sad, how corporate America, the ‘free’ market, and globalization have driven wages to the point where the average American worker looks at a government employee making the same wage that a private sector employee used to make and, instead of thinking ‘Hey, why don't I get paid what I'm really worth?’ thinks ‘God, it’s not fair; why can’t they struggle like we do?’ That's right, America, keep fighting to make things worse for everyone. I weep for our future.“

 

Do you feel your views align with these commenters' thoughts? Post a comment below or sound off on video.

 

Compiled by the CNN.com moderation staff. Some comments edited for length or clarity.

8 Comments
March 3, 2011
Click to view wendykh's profile

This has nothing to do with facebook. That's like saying "don't go to the coffee shop! If you see an ex there, completely ignore them, don't say hello!"

 

This is about having inappropriate conversations, intimacy (as in sharing secrets and confidences), and innuendo with someone to whom you are not married and know damn well you shouldn't be having those with. Facebook is simply a medium, a huge medium some hundreds of millions of people participate in, so obviously you're going to hear about it being involved in marital drama. By this logic, no man should ever have a secretary. After all how many times have we heard of a man having an affair with his secretary?

March 3, 2011
Click to view abbotn's profile

Facebook is liable.

March 3, 2011
Click to view Lilybeth's profile

I don't believe the break up of marriages are because of Facebook. I think their marriages already had a problem in the first place. I personally left facebook because of the privacy issues. And the fact that I got seriously fed up of the constant everyday statuses that were boring. Example : I walked my dog to the corner ! Or I ate a burger and I drip the sause all over myself. Who cares!!... dull and tedious reading. But what shocks me is how you can have a friend with children and they constantly update their statuses all day long. You start wondering if the children get enough attention at home. Just saying..

March 4, 2011
Click to view tphin's profile

You're all becoming sheep, if not already.

Facebook - damn. What a world.

March 5, 2011
Click to view larena's profile

I never place anything about my personal life what for? if I want to talk to my friend I call them I only share iReports or something I like from CNN thank you

March 10, 2011
Click to view highschoolse's profile

hi

March 16, 2011
Click to view AllanOfMaine's profile

As with any Social Network, Many people forget that pretty much everything you post, etc with the exception, i would assume, of Private messages, emails becomes public knowledege somewhere on the 'net. When one indulges in posting personal informations, they often place themselves at a greater risk of scrutiny. A rule of thumb i always maintain, being a married man, is that i make all my doings on Facebook, and any social network, readily available for my wife to see as well as read, when ever she deems she wishes to. Double lives, especially in the fidelity department, often leads to deeper issues, and over time, may infact destroy the marriage. I suppose, to break this down to much simplier terms, never allow yourself to stray from the one you love, and certainly not by living a secretive, double life. Such actions can, and have, led to much deeper, and more consequential actions.

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