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    Posted July 31, 2013 by
    mistymartin1
    Location
    Springhill, Louisiana

    More from mistymartin1

    Racism, stereotypes, etc.

     

    CNN PRODUCER NOTE     mistymartin1 has experienced racism through rude comments and nasty looks for choosing to date, marry and have children with a black man. She believes that progress towards Dr. King's dream of equality has been made but will never fully realized in this nation. Having a bi-racial daughter, she believes her child will face racism from both black and white people, but she plans to teach her daughter to stand up against racism not only for herself but for others as well. 'I have encountered racism from all sides and have survived it,' she says. 'While it has broken my heart several times, I am stronger than ever and have a beautiful multi-racial family with a bi-racial daughter.'

    This story is part of CNN iReport’s Everyday Racism project, an effort to shine light on and spark discussion about racism in today’s world. Please note that CNN cannot independently verify the events described in this post.

    mistymartin1 was featured on CNN.com as part of the Everyday Racism project. Read more here and join the conversation.
    - Jamescia, CNN iReport producer

    It is a sad day and time in our country when we let the actions of what I consider not even a majority dictacte how we respond to each other in our daily lives. I see angry "whites" and "blacks" even though I usually don't even refer to people as such. I do not think that most whites or most blacks are racists or whatever else people have been saying. I do not deny that there is racism, however. I am a white woman who lived through racism from all sides. This is MY story. No, I haven't lost a child in a situation and had to live it over and over while the media and others decide if it is racially motivated and who is right and wrong. But I do feel that I will have to defend my child by BOTH races for her heritage (mixed with white and black). For those of you that deny racism and stereotypes exist or is only one-sided, let me tell you about my last 13 years..... I started dating my husband when I was 17. The examples I use are not everybody I encountered, but enough to make an impact on my opinions on certain things in life. 1) WHITE BOYS stated that I was trash and could not find a "good white boy" so I had to resort to a black boy, 2) WHITE GIRLS decided that they could not sit beside me at our school's banquet because their dates "would not like seeing THAT" but of course, they "had no problem with it", 3) BLACK MEN assume that since I am married to a black man, I am up for grabs and they can attempt to sleep with me still, telling them I am taken and not a ho does no good, 4) Conversation with a BLACK GIRL: Me: "(My husband) wants to see what I will look like with braids." Her: (Heatedly): "You are already stealing our men, now you want to steal our hairstyles!" I wasn't aware that a person I have spent almost half of my life with belonged to some woman because of their matching race.... 5) Conversation with a WHITE MAN (as we visited his son, who was my mom's ex as he died of cancer: Him: "You date a little white boy or a little black boy?" (Because this is a joke among old white people meant as an insult for some reason????) Me: "Oh, I date a black boy." He thinks I am joking and asks a few minutes later, "When you said you date a black boy, were you joking?" Me: "No sir?" Him: "Do you intend to marry him?" Me: "Yes, sir!" Him: "Do you intend to have children with him?" Me: "Um, yes sir!" Him: "Do you know what they will be?" Me: "Um, mixed?" Him: "Yes, AND UNLOVED AND UNACCEPTED!" Me: "I will love them!" Him: "You may, but the rest of the world won't!" Me: "Well, if someone denies my kids love or a job or something because they are mixed, that is their loss. I will teach my kids what is right and to not pay attention to shallow people like that!" 6) A conversation between someone I know and a BLACK WOMAN when she sees a picture of (Husband, then boyfriend) and me at the aforementioned banquet: "Is that (My husband's) girlfriend?" "Yes, it is." "Well, he must not know he is black!" "Well, I guess he does, never really thought to ask him!" Then, there is always the, "Well, you don't seem like the type to date black men," from ALL RACES. What is "that type?"

    It is ridiculous that I have been stereotyped in my life and treated badly for something I did not choose. I chose to act on it, so my bad I guess (sarcasm). It is ridiculous that I have awakened to pounding and thought that someone was pounding a cross in my yard to burn because that had been threatened. It is ridiculous that I have been bum-rushed by a black man hugging up on me because he heard I dated "black MEN" not a black man. It is ridiculous that people got mad at Paula Dean for her racial slurs, but them referred to her as a "cracker". It is ridiculous that people claim that Zimmerman made it racial, when Martin referred to Zimmerman as a "creepy ass cracker" first! It is ridiculous that people claim that "nigga" is part of their culture and call each other that. It is even more ridiculous that white people use that word trying to be cool. It is a travesty that after what "black" people went through, "white" people still feel they can use that word without consequence. It is ridiculous that I see all these people's crisis plastered all over Facebook (a boy who was shot in the head and killed by black men, a black woman sent to jail for 20 years for defending herself) with an agenda other than sympathy for the victims.

    Finally, on a lighter note, you have no clue how many times I hear people tell other people, "You know she has a little black baby." NO, my child is MIXED. These people don't mean anything by it (or most don't) other than to insinuate I am "cool." But how does that make me cool? You know nothing about me, but you assume I am cool because I have slept with a black man at least once in my life and got pregnant????? (Most don't know enough about me to even know I am married, have just seen some pictures of my "black" child.) Some are assuming that I am not available because I have a "black kid" so I must "only date blacks" (again not even knowing if I am married).

    So, you see, stereotypes and racism do exist. They exist from everywhere. My life was not always easy as a "white woman". I am sure as a "mixed kid" my daughters life will not be easy from time to time. My husband's life as a "black" man has not been easy. All we can do is do the best with what we are, stick together, and hope for a better world, a better tomorrow, and a better life. This note is not written for sympathy. It is just something I felt I needed to get off my chest.
    (This was a note I wrote on Facebook the day after the Zimmerman verdict)

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