- Posted October 23, 2013 by
This iReport is part of an assignment:
Bullying awareness: Your story
How I Handled My Son Being Bullied
- hhanks, CNN iReport producer
It was in 1986 when my son started being bullied by a troubled boy in school, both were 4th graders. I received a phone call at work from my son's principal telling me he had been in a fight on the playground and he needed to see a doctor. He ended up with several stitches on his lower lip.
The next day I was informed my son was suspended for 3 days, the bully boy was suspended for 7 days because he had been in several other fights already. Of course I questioned why my son was suspended when it was the other boy that attacked him, it was school policy to suspend both boys.
When my son went back to school I would ask him about the boy and if he was still harassing him. My son admitted he was, but not hitting him anymore, at least not on the school grounds. We lived directly across the street from the school but there was an ally my son had to go down. The bully would hide in the alley behind a dumpster and jump out at my son and chase him when he walked by. I changed my work hours to a split shift so I could be home when my son got out of school. Once I actually saw this bully jump out from behind the dumpster, I screamed at him and he ran away.
I kept the principal aware of everything that was happening. She came up with a plan that she thought might work, she took both boys to McDonald's for lunch one day thinking they might get along. They didn't.
The next thing that happened was a rock thrown into my son's bedroom, breaking the window. At that point I was just about at my last straw. I told the principle I needed to talk to the bully's mother and or father. I was given her phone number. We talked for awhile when it kinda hit me why her son was so mean. She was no help and didn't even seem to care what her son had been doing.
Some kind of understanding needed to take place. But what? I've always treated my son like he was a prince, obviously to me the bully's mom didn't give him that kind of adoration and maybe not even consideration. So, Halloween came, the bully knocked on my door, when I opened the door the look on his face seemed to say "whatcha gonna do lady?"
My feeling was, if this kid has the guts to show up at my house asking for candy then candy he's going to get. Instead of one piece of candy, I gave him a handful. He watched as I poured the candy into his bag then looked up at me and smiled, then walked away.
Then, later, I got permission to take the boy, with my son and I to Disneyland. He had never been even though Disneyland was only 2 miles away. I loved watching his face as he walked inside and saw all the wonders and magic. This boy was lacking attention in a very big way, his meanness and bullying seemed to be the only way he could get it.
I sure can't say my son and the boy became fast friends but the bullying stopped. My son never had the side effects that some end up having.