- Posted October 23, 2013 by
This iReport is part of an assignment:
The written word: Your personal essays
ARE YOU MY MOTHER?
Today is my 50th birthday, and I’ve searched forever for you. I’ve spent a lifetime peering into the faces of age-appropriate women wondering, “Are you my mother?”. The loneliness and sense of abandonment were nearly unbearable when I was younger, in spite of having a truly blessed life. I have struggled each and every day, needing to know about you and wanting you to know about me. The emptiness inside of me is agonizing, even after all this time.
As I grew into adulthood and fashioned my own life, starting a family, I thought of you each step of the way, wanting you to be there with me and hoping that you were at least thinking of me occasionally, too. Now, with a full-grown son, I still yearn to learn about you and inevitably me. I need to know who I am and where I come from – for my own sake as well as your grandson’s. It saddens me most that I have no health history to share with my son other than what I personally bring to the table. The only fact that I have to share with my son is that my mother’s sister had diabetes. The two of us, fortunately, have been blessed to not have that suffering.
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Thank you one and all for any assistance you may be able to give me!