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    Posted November 30, 2013 by
    New York
    This iReport is part of an assignment:
    CNN Fit Nation: 2014 Triathlon Challenge

    I'm Ready For The Team

    This week I celebrated my 56th birthday with my family. It was a lovely time, but as I was leaving the restaurant I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and was surprised by what I saw. What looked back at me was a middle aged, overweight woman who I didn’t know. On the ride home I found myself thinking; I don’t feel good, I’m overweight, I’ve developed bad habits, and I’m not who I want to be or, more importantly, who I know I can be. I wanted to do something, but I didn’t know what. I turned on CNN, as I always do when I am making lunches and getting ready for the next day, and listened to the Fit Nation Challenge and realized that this is what I need to do.
    I’m a single mom who found herself on the bad end of an impossible relationship. I had to assume the responsibility for bad business decisions made by a husband who suffered from PTSD as a result of the trauma suffered from being in One World Trade Center on 9/11. He drifted into depression and unemployment and was absent from both parenting and financial responsibilities.
    I am an 8th grade social studies teacher and I am lucky to be in a profession that I love and that provides security. But it isn’t enough to make ends meet. So for years I have worked weekends and take in borders from a local international school. Money has always been a major concern and being there for my kids has always been my priority.
    I’ve gotten into some bad habits. I come home from work, do some things around the house, cook dinner and when I sit down to eat I have a glass of wine. Then, instead of going out for a walk or exercising I have another glass of wine and play scrabble on the computer or talk to friends and before I know it its time to go to bed and I get up the next day and do the same thing all over again.
    I do try though. I join a gym and go for a month. I signed up for Bootcamp and did that for a few months. Recently, I’ve been going to yoga, but somehow missed the last month or so. There is always something that gets in the way; a lacrosse game I need to watch, someone needs to get picked up at the train, homework help, the excuses (although I don’t always see them as such) are endless. I don’t know how to put myself first. I never did.
    I want to be fit. I want to feel good, and strong, and happy. I want to be a good role model for my kids and I want to learn how to take care of me. This year my son will go off to college. It will be the first time since 1982 that I will not have someone at home that depends on me. That thought is both frightening and liberating. I think its finally “Me” time, but I don’t know how to do it for myself. I think being a part of a team, having guidance and mentors and having others count on me, is what I need to be successful. I’ve always been the type of person who works best with other people, I’m just not good alone. I really believe being a part of Fit Nation is the edge I need. Please choose me. Please.
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