- Posted December 22, 2013 by
This iReport is part of an assignment:
You have value, without needing to give up anything!
Before I begin, In case anyone is wondering about the serious tone and sadness in today's posts, the young woman that I was helping last night has really gotten to me. I hate it when I see a woman using herself and giving herself away simply because no one ever bothered to show her how she should be loved and treated. Sex is a poor substitute for real love, affection, and understanding.
It hurts even more when I have to experience their grief with them as I help them realize what they have been doing and why. I don't think they should judge or hate themselves for what they did in ignorance to themselves. These series of choices don't have to define you moving forward once you decide to love and respect yourself.
I liked her, she was very nice and I will miss talking to her but she has to work with what we talked about on her own because my staying nearby would be a distraction and crutch. I really hope she acts on what she learned, she and every woman deserves to expect to be loved and respected without their sex being the method with which they seek that affection.
Ladies...If you are in your teens and early twenty's and a 35+ year older man is interested in you: 1. It probably isn't for your mind. 2. He probably will never take you seriously as an equal. 3. He more than likely assumes you will be easy to control. 4. Women his own age are to smart to fall for his crap
If you are a virgin, you are a conquest. You are a four leaf clover that will lead to bragging rights when he takes your virginity.
I seriously doubt the women in the age group I am describing are wise enough to take this post seriously, but the older...wiser...experienced women will probably be surprised a male is openly admitting this.
Don't be a great story to earn bragging rights for his friends. You are special and deserve better.
I had a woman tell me once that at 19 she let a 35 year old take her virginity. She didn't do it because she loved him but because she saw her virginity as a burden. She ended up marrying him and being miserable for years before the marriage ended.
Why in gods name would any woman see her virginity as a burden to be rid of? In hindsight she regrets the husband but not getting rid of her innocence. What does that say about our culture, when a woman feels bad about herself for being good? Considering the average life expectancy is close to 85, 19 is a drop in the bucket.
I have wrestled with this puzzle for a while. Maybe women don't understand the emotional significance of losing their virginity until its to late in much the same way that you don't really understand what hot is until you have been burned.
You are worth loving without having to do a thing. You are valid, valuable and special without having to offer yourself up as currency to be seen as such. You know I hear it a lot, and on those rare times I take a direct interest in someone I get to see it first hand.
I believe a lot of people use sex as currency. I don't think many really consider what that means. It doesn't mean you are trading cash for ass. Sex is used as a thank you, and as a handkerchief. It has been used as an anti depressant, an appetite suppressant and even as handshake. The worst purchase made with sex is affection.
It is sad, and I tend to take a special interest in people in that last group. I try to help them understand their own needs, desires and motivations. I think I help them but then I can't be friends with them any longer because to many lines are blurred for them and when I try to maintain the friendship it gets odd. *blows his hair off his face* I can help people understand themselves but it always comes at the cost of any future friendship with me. I am the Axe behind the pane of glass. Useful in an emergency but no one knows what to do with me after.
You matter. Even if you have made bad choices in the past, there is no bad decision that you can't make a choice not to repeat again. It is never to late to love, respect and take care of yourself while expecting others to respect you as well.
Sincerely, your friend though we will most likely never meet:
Marcus Shane Morris