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    Posted December 29, 2013 by
    CameronLewis

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    Capturing the Human Spirit: Christopher Lewis

     
    All I could do was lay on the couch and sleep. I didn’t know what else to do; being so nervous for 2:30 PM. At 2:30 PM I would get to see my big brother Christopher. Why was I so nervous? The last time I saw Christopher was in 2009. At that point I was still a kid. Since that time, I’ve put on a few tats, moved out of town, almost completed college, been through three cars, and began writing. That’s a lot to do in between normal visits with a brother, but this wasn’t normal. If I had called it nervousness before, what I should have called it was guilt. Yes, I felt the nerves, but what I was truly feeling was guilt from not being around him the past four years. Despite any quarrels between our father and his mother, I still could have at least tried to see him. I let my life overshadow the fact that I had a brother.
    I went over to Christopher’s house with our father. It was dead silent in the car. All I could do was stare out at the road like a deer in the headlights. When we pulled up to the house I had to prepare myself as if I was about to go into a courtroom to be judged. But the thing is, my brother isn’t like that.
    My brother, Christopher, is a 45(almost 46): year old man who has struggled through his whole life because of being disabled. During birth, my brother did not receive the proper amount of oxygen, which permanently damaged most of his brain, and his motor skills. My brother has been in a wheel chair all of his life and has never been able to talk. This is where the guilt comes in. Only I can go see my brother, not the other way around. My brother would love to come see me, but can he? No.
    After I was ready to go in we walked up the ramp and into the front door. There he was. I couldn’t move. While my dad went over to embrace him as he sat in his wheel chair I stood still, trying to hold all of my emotions inside me, but I couldn’t. As soon as my dad let go, I went around to the other side and leaned down and hugged my brother. I held on for as long I could, kissed him on the cheek, and told him I love him. At that point, he had a big smile on his face and was waving his hands around in joy. As I got up, my brother started sobbing. It was a different site, because my brother is not capable of creating tears, he can only make noises that denote crying, but that didn’t matter. Even though I was quiet, I was shedding enough tears for the both of us. There we were, probably the two most sensitive people in our family crying together after four years apart. Out of all of the things I have learned in my life, one of the most important would be to never keep your emotions inside of you. That’s what my brother has taught me. Even though he cannot speak to me, I know when he was holding my hand, and looking up at me with his big brown eyes, he was telling me “It’s ok Cam, you can cry”.

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