- Posted January 13, 2014 by
Pompano Beach, Florida
This iReport is part of an assignment:
The written word: Your personal essays
How I Find My True Love ...
I’ve had a pretty interesting life, some good and some is not so good. Before I became a Christian it seems like I was always in a relationship. When I met my first love, I was very young and thought it would be forever. Until things beyond my control happened to eventually end the relationship. I started to play in a rock and roll band and met some women; I lived with a few for a long times hoping that this would be THE ONE. Eventually, when we got closed enough to think about ultimate commitment “marriage” I always remember thinking that this is not the one and some how and somewhere out there, is another. The one that is just right for me. After of life twist and turns I’ve finally found God and became a Christian and turned my life over to God and His direction.
I was single for a long, long, long, long time. Hopefully, by the way that I just said that you would have some understanding of my frustrations that I went through especially not being used to be a single for such a long time. It’s started to seem like forever. Life started to seem like unnatural and being celibate, caused this is what Christians are supposed to be, until married. I was hoping it was a misprint and supposed to be a “celebrate”. (It’s a joke ha). It took a long time to work on my heart in this area and to help me understand the love and commitment and intimacy and most of all one thing … He was trying to show me (tell you later in the story).
I lived a long time very frustrated yes sexually to where I even start to think God has forgotten about me and did not really love me. As the frustrations started to kick in so is my search for true love. I was very good at looking for love, hunting for it well you got the idea. So I started on my quest to find “The One” thinking it was up to me. I also started to learn much about how to have a good God’s center relationship. In the meantime, in my impatient I had a few short dreadful marriages. I thought how terrible could it be if I made a mistake …. Let’s me tell YOU … men and women, the devil, yes you heard me right, can use your own love as a weapon against you and to mess up your life big time so please, please, please wait for God’s choice in a mate.
In the meantime, as I was dealing with being single and frustrated I was also grown as a Christian and started to find my life calling. I believe God was calling me to lead a home bible study and from where I came from it seemed to be way far-out thing to do. However, after all I’ve seen God does, it’s kind of came natural by that time. And the way I learned to deal with people in a certain God’s way and watched as God helped others in their lives, it felt such a blessing to me to see God transformed other lives at the same time. My bad relationships kept breaking me from doing home Bible study things and I had wasted a lot of my life inside and out. So now you understand why I said please wait on God. I also learned about domestic violence, even to men. Anyway after my bad marriage I remembered to tell myself I would do what it takes to work it out and not end up getting divorce. … Let’s me tell you IF GOD ISN’T IN IT NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO WON’T WORK.
So after surviving the abuse in every way and still have my wits about me mostly hahaha I started once again the frustrations of being single … After all it’s not natural to be alone and there were sexual frustrations, especially you have tasted the forbidden fruit, and your hormone was raging. So I started praying and telling God again about my frustrations. Other than this area, my life with God was very good, and I got no complaints at all and Gods was truly awesome. I could remember getting letters from my Christian friends saying … When you make God the love of your life, He will give you the love of your life. The letters were much longer, but these were two lines that just kept speaking to me and ringing in my head. It seems to me, I kept getting those letters to me over and over again. So I kept thinking “Sure we are cool me and God and He was the love of my life.” So I went off once again the pursuing of love.
This time I tried online dating thinking I would meet someone I would not usually meet. I met so many, and I had to weed out all the bad ones of course. After awhile I found myself spending so much time investing my life in each one once more hoping, this would be the one I was looking for all my life. Only to find once again more frustrations.
Then finally one day I had enough. So I told God that I was completely frustrated and I told Him I completely gave it to Him. Whatever He will for my life, I will accept it. Actually, it sounded more like this. I gave it to you God, and I am totally frustrated but if you want me to be single then it will be just you and me buddy. And you have to deal with me, all my crankiness and all of my moodiness in everything it’s just me and You as it seems You did not help me out at all. Yeah, I remembered I just made up my mind .. here I just gave it to God … I am done. Which now that I am thinking about it…it is exactly what He was waiting to hear all this time. Hence ding, ding, ding …I finally made God the love of my life.
And then not very long after that I met someone whom I could only explain in a God’s kind of way. For the most part, we are together ever since me and my honey. The funny part is I would not naturally think we were a perfect match, but I find that true love is truly above all things. And even though our relationship is not perfect, and we still have misunderstandings but almost every way we are completely suited to each other and connected in God like kind of way. In a way that only God can explain.
So as we get ready for our Valentine day, our love, our fights and everything in between, I just thought I shared our stories with you in this special time of the year. So if you know you’ve met that special one then enjoy every minute, and if you’re still looking I can’t say it’s a magic solution but that how it works for me. Hopefully, put your trusts in God to bring you the love of your life.
Happy Valentines day and P.S. as you’re reading this, I am telling the story, and my honey is doing the typing. So we can share with you on the Valentine’s day, or we wait until next Summer the way I type.