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    Posted February 11, 2014 by
    Phoenix, Arizona

    Toxic work environment

    I never truly understood the term toxic work environment, but over the last six months I've come to truly know what it means. Over the years I've worked at a number of companies and I thought I knew what work based stress was...I was wrong. Toxic is not simply one item on a menu, it's the entire menu. It is all the components of a business coalescing in such a way that not only is there mental abuse, but emotional abuse and a complete sense of hopeless. For years I have worked for the same company and now that company is a mere shadow of what it once was. The new owners are in the process of firing everyone as they find replacements and they are showing a level of disrespect I never thought possible in an organization.

    So what should I do now? I am the main bread winner in my family and I've been looking for 3 months without success. I cannot tell my wife I cry in my car when no one is looking, that somedays I feel if it wasn't for the love of my wife and daughter I would have a complete breakdown, still I feel that breakdown is just around some unseen corner. I always thought I was stronger emotionally than this, but I finally reached a level of stress that is can tell is finally having a physical effect on my health. I'm not telling my wife I take aspirin everyday because I've been having mild chest pains, anxiety I hope.

    I'm an IT Manager with a background in support engineering and programming. You'd think I could find work anywhere, but I guess not. Does it make me less of a man to feel lost?

    I don't know if writing this will help, but how can it hurt. I need to move on and soon. I can no longer work for people that work people as if they are expendable trash and treat them as such. I never thought I would use the word evil to describe people in charge of a company, but here I am, using a word I thought was reserved for murderers and rapists.

    Tomorrow is another day and for today I'm going to be just glad I made it through another day of working for people I would never spend a moment of my life associating with if I had a choice.
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