- Posted March 1, 2014 by
“HELLO, MY NAME IS MARGARET AND I AM A BULLY!”
“HELLO, MY NAME IS MARGARET, AND I AM A BULLY!”
A story from the dark side …
The pain of her solitary journey caused by her bullying behavior, resulted in her hitting rock bottom. Margaret’s choices were to either die or to live. She chose to live and to do that she realized that she had to find out the reason why she was alone; why she did not have any friends, and where the pain was coming from. Over time, through all sorts of ways and by fastidious focus on working through her behavior Margaret, as an adult, has come to the realization that bullying is similar to being an alcoholic. One must first acknowledge one has a problem, and that the demons that got her into her present situation are habitual and can raise their ugly heads at any time and anywhere. She considers perfecting her behavior an ongoing commitment.
Unlike the alcoholic, there are no Bullies Anonymous. There are no meeting halls, no church basements, no coffee, no cookies …... no where to go to share the disgust, the shame, and the self loathing these individuals feel about themselves. There is no support…..there is no help!
Her aim is to bring light to the act of bullying and showing the formation of a bully and how bullies beget bullies. It is also a work of personal apology, exorcism and great hope. This sharing of Margaret’s journey provides a blue-print for understanding inside of the head of a bully!
"I knew when I started writing my story it was a controversial issue. This was not going to be easy. Was I strong enough? Public resistance, irreparable damage, and lack of empathy were my adversary.
At the present time there is a lot of hype going on concerning the subject of bullying. Rallies, pink t-shirts and blue bracelets everywhere. Admittedly trinkets and role playing will momentarily satisfy our human desperation for purpose. Everyone needs a cause. It gets our adrenaline pumping, gathers our allies together, and can have a positive effect to a certain degree, but it will not cure bullying. We are missing a vital element in a somewhat lop-sided story. We have to shift the focus from the victim to the aggressor. Bring them out of hiding. Put them under the microscope. Listen to their side……study their stories…..and learn. Only by understanding the role the bully plays in this tragic scenario can we ever hope to cure this bullying scourge.
I can only hope my account of facts brings more light on the this subject.
If only someone had the insight to confront me very early on in my life. It would have made my journey, and many other people’s much easier, and so less painful.
I wish there had been some information available to me when I was younger like there is for alcoholics, drug addicts, anorexics and bulimics, etc….information from the dark side, the real side so to speak. Bullied victim’s families are pulling together; former druggies, dog fighting owners, bingers and purgers are showing up everywhere repenting and promoting abstinence from all their addictions. We celebrate the strength in their vulnerability, and in turn they become our role models. I applaud them all, but no one as yet has addressed the bully head on. There are not too many reformed bullies standing on podiums, sprouting their stories and receiving adulation for the difficult process of their reform.
Each bully’s story is different and I am not speaking or taking the responsibility for any one of them out there. I am not proud of having been a bully and can only hope my account of facts brings truth to this subject and can help repair some of the damage that we inflict upon ourselves and others.
My name is Margaret Rosemary Morgan.
My credentials: I am the bully in this story.
This story is true.
It is the perspective from the dark side.
I was a bully. I am not anymore. I take it one day at a time.
I realize now like the alcoholic this is never going to go away.
I must constantly acknowledge and live with the awareness of the demons that can surface anytime throughout any minute of every day of my life .......
HELLO, MY NAME IS MARGARET…..AND I AM A BULLY!"