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    Posted March 2, 2014 by
    Konokopia
    Location
    Seattle, Washington

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    The Ten Step Program to a Better You, Improving Yourself One Puzzle at a Time Using De Stijl Steps

     
    It seems that a lot of makers and publishers of analog and digital puzzles and games make gratuitous claims that their puzzles will improve your mind. They call it "Brain Workout". Some even claim that their claims have been scientifically proven. Using pseudo-science to sell product is not new. It is modern marketing. A juice company I know of has used it. I don't know to what success but the strategy must work because more and more companies use it. They use it to gain our trust and we trust science.

    And here is how this works. A lot of young people go to college and get science degrees. After they graduate, they have a lot of debt to repay. So they seek work wherever it is available. Companies have product to sell. That product will sell better if it has some seemingly scientific basis that supports its benefits. So companies hire scientists, pay them some money, and get them to conduct "research" into their product's amazing affects. The scientists publish chunky reports that the company can present as scientific proof of the benefits of their product because nobody is going to bother to read and to analyze the validity of these long, dry reports. Just like you would not venture into the Sahara desert unless forced to at a gun point, you wouldn't venture into one of these "scientific" papers unless at a gun point. Companies know this, and rely on this.

    Rather than reading the reports, you will play the games. And the more you play these games, the better you will become at playing them. Voilà! You have become smarter, your brain is now like a razor sharp razor. I know the feeling. Ever since playing the Nintendo's Super Mario Brothers for weeks, if not months, in my youth, I have felt like a certified part-time genius. My brain is now racing as fast as Danica Patrick. Ideas come out of me, as fast as carbon monoxide comes out of her race car.

    Of course, this marketing strategy works because we really, really, really want to be smarter, skinnier, prettier, stronger and bigger than we are. And we want to be all these things without any work. We don't want to spend the time and effort to read and to study and to lift dumbbells for hours, days, and months? We want to take some pills, wash them down with a Diet Coke and get back to playing our video game. What we want is to be able to watch television and to be better for it. (It is a matter of time before scientific studies will show, if they have not already, the benefits of television watching.)

    All these claims got the neurons of my golden globe pulsating with excitement. And the result of those pulses is my revolutionary, highly experimental but totally safe, therapy program that will make you a better human being. The De Stijl Steps will make you not only smarter, it will make you younger, prettier, stronger, skinnier, bigger in the right places, wittier and braver. It will help you quit smoking, drinking, eating and breathing.

    And what's more, I have created an even more revolutionary, even more highly experimental, and just as safe, therapy program that requires only SEVEN (7!) steps. For those who don't have time, or for those who don't want to walk that far, the De Stijl Seven Steps Therapy Program is the way to go.

    I know. You are curious and dubious at the same time. What is the De Stijl Step Program and how can it confer the results that it promises? It seems too good to be true. It is not. It is based on the revolutionary new science that I invented, the science of Nuro Psychopathy.

    Nuro Psychopathy is waaay to complex for you to understand. But trust me, it works. And currently, a dozen of college graduates with science degrees are conducting studies that will prove that the amazing benefits of the De Stijl Steps are real. Really real. But if you still need convincing, just gaze with envy at the before and after photos of those who have participated in the De Stijl Steps therapy.

    And for those of you special, hopeless cases for which even the revolutionary De Stijl Ten Steps cannot help because you simply have to far to go to get to be what you want to be, I have created the De Stijl Mile. Forget about loosing weight, growing hair, quitting smaking, drinking and drugs. Forget about looking younger and prettier. None of these matter with De Stijl Mile because De Stijl Mile is One Hundred Steps to Happiness. And this revolutionary therapy miracle program will be available for only 30 days, starting March 5, on Kickstarter as part of the MazeScroll Series. Check http://www.konokopia.com for more information to be part of this totally secret, exclusive group.

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