Ending your Dysfunctional Relationship with Money
Money was never discussed as a family in my house, no money lessons to be taught, just my parents trying desperately to keep their 'Money Fights' on the down low late in to the night. Discussing money with people is right up there with talking politics and religion. We assume that everyone is 'Great' at handling money and without issue. Wrong. Just because we all deal with money on a daily does not mean we hold money guru credentials, even if our shoes, bag and belt are designer.
ROOT OF THE DYSFUNCTION
When searching for answers regarding money, often we are paralyzed with fear, shame and uncertainty. Most of us have no idea where to begin or who to talk to. If you are over a certain age one may be embarrassed to admit to not knowing anything about money. Read these words. IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT. I would bet that most of us have been raised in the dark about money or have inherited our parents 'money stories' which have been passed down through the generations. After research I learned that no matter what we have been taught about money we still model our parents philosophy and story around money. Myself I modelled the scarcity and not deserving money mindset (Thanks Mom and Dad!), which I then equated my self worth with my net worth. Once you can identify your parents or family money story the healing and changes of these behaviours can begin.
REPROGRAMMING YOUR MONEY STORY
Explore Your Money Beliefs
Do you think rich people are greedy and evil?
Do you believe that there is not enough money to go around?
Do you believe you have to work extra hard to be deserving of money?
- 15%-20%, but at the bare minimum 5% to start if you cannot pay anymore. Aim to pay more down the road. Make this automatic each month.
- When purchasing be very aware and conscious of what your buying listen to your gut and question it. Give yourself a score. If your not feeling a 90%-100% don't buy it. Always be aware of what your feeling when making the simplest purchase.
What do you really value? Do you love to travel, and don't care much for what car you drive? Do you love fine dining? But where you live is not a big deal. Its getting really clear on your money values and what really brings you joy, not guilt or shame when spending money. This might take some time figuring it out but once you do you will feel clarity about what is really important to you.
These are some easy steps to get started on healing your 'Money Story' and redesigning your money blueprint. Just remember if you are struggling, please don't feel ashamed, you are not alone. Anyone can change their dysfunctional relationship with money. Its never too late to start.