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    Posted March 28, 2014 by
    KOOLDAD338
    Location
    California
    Assignment
    Assignment
    This iReport is part of an assignment:
    Tell us the Good Stuff!

    JENSEN KARP TO BUY A GOAT: GOOD IDEA OR VERY DANGEROUS FOR COMMUNITY

     

    There are a lot of "Goat Stories" floating around on the "web" these days but most of them don't end in murder. But this goat story might.

     

    A lot of people know Jensen Karp as a famous rapper and an entrepreneur and an art gallery owner and a podcaster but he's about to add a new title to his business card. Yup, you guess it: Goat Owner.

     

    But is it all roses for this soon-to-be goat dad?I don't think so. And neither do THE POLICE. There have been literally millions of goat owner related murders reported across California in the past two weeks.

     

    Why?

     

    You guessed it. Lottery tickets.

     

    That's right. Goats have been eating lottery tickets that they find in the trash. Local scientists have tied these goat related murders to a chemicall found inside of California lottery tickets called QUANISPERNS which "allegedly" has the potential to turn a perfectly nice goat into a murdering machine of killing and death.

     

    So before you send Jensen -- or anyone else -- a typical "Congrats on your Goat"-basket of assorted cheeses and magazines make sure that you find out where the goat came from. Did it grow up near a dumpster? Specifically a dumpster... NEAR A LIQUOR STORE???

     

    We here at CNN sincerely wish Jensen the best when it comes to all future goat purchases, but we're not afraid of asking the hard hitting questions either. Questions like: did your goat eat any lottery tickets? Or do you actually need a goat? Or how will you protect the children and families that live in your neighborhood?

     

    Everyone here at the offices of CNN will keep Jensen -- and his goat -- in our prayers.

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