- Posted March 29, 2014 by
This iReport is part of an assignment:
The written word: Your personal essays
Love for ever without sex or sex without love for a short time for fun?
by Sahameddin Ghiassi
Love for ever or sex for a short time fun The first time that I read an article written by Ms. Parinaz; I thought that she has a problem with sex or love. But by reading her other short stories, I realized that she was not after love with sex, but she was only after sex without deep love. Or sex for fun and for a short time.It is clear that in the West any women or men can have fun with their body, and what ever the body desire they can provide for the body. And as long as they do not destroy other people love and affection or they do not make other people as their sex victims, they are allowed to do. As long as they do not make somebody upset or sad and they do not do any harm to the other people, they are free to do what ever they wish. Generally the beautiful women or girls are mostly the victims of the sex without deep love.They are misused and after the using, they send away or through away. But some women and even the girls are willing to accept the sex without love. Some for money and other may be the rich and beautiful ones only for sex, because they want also enjoy sex. So as long as the women or girl are also agreed with a relationship of sex without deep love, the matter is different. There are no victims in this case. In the time that I was teacher in Germany, I heard many mothers told their girls, if you are sure that you love a boy or a man and he loves you a lot and you feel this love and you are agree that you will be with each other for ever or at least for a long time and you can marry him and he is willing to marry you, you can sleep with him and it is not so bad.If you are not sure, do not sleep with him. But about the Middle Eastern people they have another opinion. They told their children, these people play with you and with your love. They wanted only pure sex and they want to release themselves from the semen. And after they give you semen, they will run away. Even now the European men do not desire to marry with a girl, who is sleeping with a lot of men without deep love.In USA and in Europe the women are not willing to sleep fast with the men, they want to know him and love him, after that they may sleep or may even not. The easy women are not even interested by the play boy type men. Even the play boy type men want firm and good girl or women, and not one who sleep in the same day with a man whom she knows for one day only, she knows a man for few hours and after that, she gives all her body to him. The girls who have only sex without love are not respected even in the West. They should know a man and have a lot of contacts and discussion with him and know him well. A normal girl or woman will not sleep with a man right away. But what ever I write is my own experience, or the stories of the people I know.May be it is not a form and may be cannot be generalized. If both sides are agreeing, they can have sexual relationship without any commandment. And this is not so bad in the West. The writer also agreed that is not acceptable in the East. As the thieves are bad these type of men and women are bad also, so they do not speak about this. Especially if one side loves the other side and feels that he/she has been misused. In the time that I was instructor at the university, one of my friend get involved with a guest professor from China. He loved her very deeply and hoped that the China lady will respond to his deep love. But it seemed that the China lady could not fee his deep and real love. And she told him, that she cannot marry him. As my friend loved her very much, he hoped may be the lady will change her mind and will feel his great love one day. He waited for the coming of that day, that the China lady accepts his love.He could not go away and forget the lady. He could not also lose his hope. He hoped that the lady will change her mind soon of late. They loved each other very much every day and every night they were together and kissed each other very deep and very long. They sleep in their each other body and warm each other with sort of childish love. Or the love for the teenager, who will not have the sexual relationship and control their bodies. Saman this good friend of mine, love her so much that he could not even imagine to continue his life without her. But she was firm and did not accept his proposal to marry him. He hoped that she will come to him one day. But this day never come and the official visiting of Lee was coming to the end and she did not answer Saman positively.She wanted to go back to China; I do not understand why she could not feel the great love and huge interest that Saman had concerning Lee. Saman loved her with all his mind and heart. He was willing to do for her everything. And Lee was a very nice lady also. I was agreeing with Saman that he loved her so deep and so much. But his love could not go through the hard heart of Lee. She was completely blocked for his love. She just wanted a teenager love from him and not more. I do not know if for Lee, nationality, race, language, family or even religion was important. But she was for Saman everything, like a goddess or like a queen.Everything was not important for Saman, but her. He was a professor at the university, but he was willing to discontinue his work and quit everything to go with her. What ever and where she goes and she liked to go and what ever she wanted to do; he was totally agreed. He wanted only her and he was willing to give everything that he had to get her. May be the Lee could not feel the deep love of him and she could not imagine the huge route of his love. The whole Saman was burned with her love. She was everything for Saman, religion, country, family, friend, and love. But Lee did not respond to all his interest and love. And she was preparing herself to go to China. Saman came to my house, he cried to deep and he was so upset, as the Lee was going. He said Amir I cannot bring Lee to the air port and see that she is going may be for ever. Lee told Saman, that she will come back, but Saman did not trust this.He knows that she is going for ever. He could not bring her to the air port. I took her to the air port, in the two hours that we were together, she cried like the fog in spring. She said to me, I was with Saman just like a good friend. Like teenager who have girl and boy friend, but they do not sleep with each other, because their parent do not like it. She said I did not sleep with him as I could not marry him, he did not want to sleep with me as long as I could not promise him to marry him. He and I were traditional; we do not sleep if we are not sure that we cannot marry. Saman was a rich man and had a nice house and a lot of income, Lee was a professor also; and do not understand why Lee did not want marry him. It is still a puzzle for me, why this great love did not ended with marriage certificate. Lee and Saman were satisfied with the childish love and just kissing and being together.They were the whole day and night together but they kept their love pure without sex. I think if Saman did sleep with her, may be he had more chance to marry her later. Saman did not try to continue more and stop in the boundary that Lee wanted. He did not try to do more as she did not wish. That is a puzzle for me, too that they were so long together and they kissed each other so much, but they did not sleep with each other. So Parinaz sleep right away after few hours, and she did not sleep with her love after one year intimacy contacts. But generally if a man loves a woman so much will try to sleep with her and it is very hard not to sleep with her.Generally sleeping brings more love for both of them. I remember that I heard from a lot men that a rich beautiful woman wanted to sleep with them, but she told them; that she does not want to marry them, as she can marry a much better man. And some men were insulated and rejected the beautiful rich woman. So the women are different, some sleep without love and without money just for enjoying their sex, some sleep with the man if they love him and lot and want to marry him. And some like Lee want only kissing and company and not sex. Lee flied to China and the whole time she cried as she said, she is crying, because she cannot see Saman and miss him a lot. I said why you do not stay with him. She said she had parent in China they are waiting for me.May be they would come in trouble if Lee did not go back. That was my guess only. Saman told me, she called few times from China, but later she did not answer my email, she did not give me her telephone or address. She disappeared from my life just like a dream. A nice dream. I do not know why she wanted to forget him, they were just good friend, they were not really boy friend girl friend or lovers. They did not sleep with each other so they could keep this childish friendship for ever, she did not need to cut it. But sometimes the women are mysterious. Her parent was important doctors in China and she was only thirty five years old and was the head of an engineering faculty. And she had PhD in engineering. I do not know how could she let the Saman with such a huge love alone and go away from him. The love to the parent or the love of the country, the love of other person forced her to let the poor full of love Saman alone and go just away. I cannot understand how can a girl, woman let her love alone and disappear so easily.May be she could not feel the deep love of Saman. Or may be Saman should not let her go back. But how? I think that was a very beautiful nice love that because of some problems could not ended in marriage. It is very hard for me to understand, how a woman can go away from such a man, who is deeply in the ocean of her love. But the love is very complicated. Parinaz sleep with a man so easily and Lee does not sleep with a man whom she loves so deep and she knows that he love her, too. Lee after one year intensive and every day contact does not give her complete love with sex to Saman and Parinaz sleep so easily with any man, she know for few hours. I do not mean that Parinaz did a bad action, I just wonder the difference between two women. If the story of Parinaz is non fiction, this story is fiction and had happened as I wrote, I only changed the names. I was a closed friend of Saman and still I wonder why so much love and desire did not bring them together for ever. And why Lee did not want sex with a man, who was willing to die for her? The Lee left Saman and fly to China and she did not continue to contact also with Saman, and she cut the emails contacts also. I still wonder why Lee could not feel the such a deep Love of Saman?? May be you know it?