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    Posted May 3, 2014 by
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    Excuse me, I'd like my identity back please!

    Sadly, many of us are familiar with the woes of identity theft. The dodgy transactions on your bank card, perhaps an unknown account popping up on your credit report, and the list goes on. Thankfully, when we encounter these nuisance situations, there are avenues available to resolve them. But what if there weren’t?

    I’m certainly no stranger to the above, and have dealt with those instances accordingly. But what if someone actually assumed your identity? I’ve heard of it, but never really thought about it, but apparently someone else had-- her name is Maria.

    About 18 months ago I was in a government office having an unremarkable conversation about my reported income, when the official asked me about my income in Oregon. Of course, I reacted with a discarding attitude of surely it’s a mistake, but it wasn’t. Maria was gainfully employed, and backed with my credentials.

    At first I felt sorry for her. Maria was clearly an illegal immigrant just trying to survive. I didn’t want to make trouble for her, but obviously I had to do something to protect myself. So I contacted the authorities, who suggested I contact the company, and they provided me with that information.

    Here’s where things really took a surprising turn. I talked to the company themselves, Burrito Boy, based in Eugene, Oregon.

    At first, they were receptive. Oodles of promises that they would look into it, figure it out, get back to me. Those promises turned out to be empty. Every now and again I checked back with them, more promises were made, and more lies were told. Nothing ever happened.

    Exhausted with this obvious negligent and persistently dismissive behavior on the part of the company, I contacted the police in Virginia, where I live. They directed me to the authorities in Oregon, who referred me to the IRS, who deflected me to the FBI. As you can imagine, the FBI was not particularly interested, though the officer in their field office seemed to have his appetite tugged by the mention of this eatery, which was familiar to him already.

    So what now? Nobody cares!

    I contacted the company once more this week. Their response went from surprising, to completely shocking.

    “Mr. Lucas”, Victor, the manager in their corporate headquarters, scorned at me, “hundreds of thousands of people are going through this same thing as you, why should we care about Richard Lucas? Don’t call here anymore, if you want to sue us, sue us”, hangs up phone.

    Staring at the ‘call-ended’ notification on my phone screen, I was dumbfounded. “He didn’t”, I thought, “He couldn’t have”, I coached myself. But he did. He just did.

    So what’s a guy to do? How do you deal with a situation such as this where nobody seems to care, and a company, a thriving one at that, shows such a blatant and unapologetic display of a complete lack of integrity, morality, and sheer common decency? According to Burrito Boy, take them to court.

    My identity was stolen, and this company facilitated it. There is criminal behavior happening in the mix of this and company seems to be content with their participation in that criminal activity. But this begs a larger question about our society. Why is that okay?

    Why isn’t there someone to help? How can a business possibly be allowed to freely get away with such absurdities? Most importantly, what does one do other than sue? I fear that we’ve reached a point where court is the only place to find a resolution, because apparently decency is dead, and a thing of the past.

    It’s possible that someone at Burrito boy may read this, and I encourage you to take this opportunity to reach out and resolve the situation. I’d rather not take Victors advice (you also may need to consider finding a slightly more tactful spokesman), but I will resolve this matter, I can assure you of that.

    This is my last call to Burrito Boy for a resolution. I would like nothing more that to end this stressful experience with an amicable solution.

    It’s time to step up, and be a Burrito Man!
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