- Posted October 12, 2008 by
Jesus Christ discusses the election..Kind of
In a rare interview, Jesus Christ discussed with an evangelical minister what he thought about the election race so far and what he thinks about the candidates. Here is the transcript.
Interviewer: It is an absolute honor to meet you. I have to admit though, you don't look like I expected you would.
Jesus: What did you expect?
Int: Well every picture I saw of you...
Jesus: The black thing.
Jesus: This pictures you saw, were they polaroids, cell phone pics, digital camera...
Int: (coughs) No they were paintings, (mumbles nervously ) the crucifix...
Jesus: So you could tell by looking at the crucifix on the wall that i was white? It's bronze. Did you think that the Middle East was full of white people, or that being the son of God I would appear to be the only person of the "right" race in that region? The white race?
Int: Oh no no no. We seem to be getting off track. Can you give me your opinions on the candidates?
Jesus: I can't because of your "strict" laws seperating church from state.
Int: Maybe just a ...
Jesus: Make sure you put the quotations on the word strict otherwise they won't see the scarcasm.
Int: Maybe just an opinion about them?
Jesus: I will say this, the Republican Party is bringing race and religious affiliation in a time when your country is in a serious crisis that no amount of prayer will get you out of. How can they promote hate at their rallies and try to put fear into the hearts of the american people. I wouldn't call this a smear campaign, i call it a fear campaign.
Int: I don't think that's true...
*Jesus: *What's your name again? I seem to have forgotten.
*Int: *Reverend William ...
*Jesus: *Mine is Jesus Fucking Christ, and who are you to question me. And Fucking isn't my middle name. It's Hussien.
Int+: +Your middle name is Hussien?
Jesus: It's very common where I am from. And guess what else, just because my middle name is Hussien, doesn't make me a terrorist.
Int: No one is saying that ...
Jesus: What about Sarah Palin?
Int: I don't think she's ever said ...
Jesus: Do you know that she really had nine children?
Jesus: Yeah she ate the other four. They don't call her a pitbull with lipstick for nothing.
Int: That's amazing.
Jesus: Well I have to go, I'm supposed to make an appearence in a rust spot on some guy's car in Albany, New York.
Int: Well it was a pleasure to meet you.