About this iReport
  • Approved for CNN

  • Click to view sruthomas's profile
    Posted May 10, 2014 by
    Hong Kong
    This iReport is part of an assignment:
    In praise of “other mothers”

    More from sruthomas

    First or Second. Does it matter ?


    CNN PRODUCER NOTE     sruthomas says she has a closer relationship now with her stepmother than she could ever imagine. She sees her stepmother as her real mother now, and wanted to share a thoughtful tribute from daughter to mother.
    - Jareen, CNN iReport producer

    My biological Mother passed away when I was 11. Back then it was only my Dad & I.


    You would see in children based storybooks that the stepmother is always the evil one. The one who would starve the child. The one who gives no attention. The one who is cruel and puts her 'own children' above her step daughter.


    But the Mother who I have now is nothing like the storybook. She came into my life 10 years back. Instead of leaving me at a relative's house for their honeymoon, they took me with them as a family holiday.


    I still remember, we were in the car during our long drive in India and I was getting awfully tired and I would eye her lap. Finally I mustered the courage to ask her if I could sleep on her lap & the rest is history.


    Our years together so far included anything & everything. She has seen me during my good & bad times. In fact I am more close to her than my biological Dad. It's that powerful. For us, it wasn't a matter of acceptance but it was more of automatically getting involved in each other's lives without any force.


    Sadly that particular storybook perception I mentioned earlier is still evident especially in India. I wish people can understand that step mothers do a lot for their family despite not being a biological one. In Indian culture, no one seems to accept a father & child unless the father marries a 'defect' woman as in widowed or infertile. They find it astonishing that a woman who hasn't been married prior and is in her late 20s marries a man who has a child. But she did it. Soon our family grew. I have two brothers now and she keeps everything in place & cherishes us equally. We run our family just like everyone else.


    I know what my mother has done. She has evolved me into a woman with class. She has only wished me nothing but the best. And for that, I want to tell the world that these women are not 2nd class nor should they be regarded as one.


    I do have a lot to say but at times feelings just can't be put into words. It is a hard process because I as I am writing this, I am reminded of the memories created between her & I for past few years. And I only wish to make more memories with her.

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