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    Posted May 31, 2014 by
    Tudortribe11
    Location
    Moses Lake, Washington
    Assignment
    Assignment
    This iReport is part of an assignment:
    Your modern family

    Yours, Mine, Theirs, and Ours

     
    Our unique story begins with my husband who is white, and myself, mixed black and white. My husband has two kids from a previous marriage who are both white, and I have two kids from a previous marriage who are 3/4 black and 1/4 white. We then fostered and finally adopted 2 sisters who are 3/4 Hispanic and 1/4 black. The surprise of the family happened after 8 years of trying, with secondary infertility, is my husband's and my daughter together who is 3/4 white and 1/4 black. We are quite a mix with our adult daughters also marrying interracially having no lack of balance in color and culture. We've often gotten strange looks from people when we'd go into stores or restaraunts. Some rude and many just curious. I try not to get offended when I'm asked if I was adopted when people see that my mother is white or if any of my kids were adopted (the irony here is that I have two adopted children, but no one ever guesses that they aren't mine. It's my bio children they wonder about.)
    One thing that is a tough pill to swallow is when people say to me that children who are mixed have to deal with identity crises when growing up is hard enough. I can't think of any more well adjusted kids than the ones in our family unit. It has been and continues to be a blast and our children are so very close in their relationships with each other. Each of our sons from our previous marriages who are the same age (one black and one white) thought they were twin brothers when they were little! There has never been a struggle with racial identity in our children because we taught them to find their identities in being Christians and in being part of our family.
    I've had many discussions with narrow minded people over race and "race mixing" and what I've found that is universal is that people are against it because they are afraid of what they know nothing about...other cultures and races and that fear is often fueled by perceived stereotypes and prejudgements or even a bad experience with one individual.
    My husband was raised in Northern Idaho, not far from the White supremacist's compound that was in the news a while back. He had some interesting views when I met him, that he now says, were just based on ignorance.
    I grew up with my father being black and my mother white. They were married in 1967 in a not-so-friendly to interracial relationships era and had some outside obstacles to overcome (my mother has told me of a time when she pulled up to a stoplight and the guy in the vehicle beside her, got a look at my then 5 year old brother in the back seat, and she received a quick, and to the point "n****r lover!!!"), but as far as our family identity went, it was ideal. Race was NEVER an issue between my parents and I was unaware that I was "mixed" until kids at school pointed out.
    I once read that interracial couples, since they had the tenacity to do the social no-no, and cross racial lines to find a mate, were more likely to stick it out than most couples. I'm not sure if that's true, but I know I'm privileged to have been the product of and benefitted by the best of 2 worlds. I'm thrilled to pass that on to all of my kids!

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