About this iReport
  • Not verified by CNN

  • Click to view Auntlello1's profile
    Posted June 11, 2014 by
    Rockford, Illinois
    This iReport is part of an assignment:
    Living with a chronic illness

    What it is like to live with a chronic illness. The daily struggles, friends and family constantly telling you what you should/could do differently, and the rest of the world knowing better than you what you should feel and how you should act.

    The eyes of non-believers say:

    “But you were just fine yesterday when we were together!” (Yes, but yesterday was a whole different story! And if I knew what was different about yesterday, I would do it! I already watch how much of this I have, how much of that I can tolerate, if my fluid levels are in check, if my electrolytes are in balance, if I remembered my daily medication, if I ate anything different, if I skipped eating anything different, if someone changed household supplies, if the barometric pressure is up or down, what the pollen count is for the day, what the UV scale is that day and any other “thing” that I know effects how I feel. I think I have plenty on my plate without caring if I can or cannot act the same as I did yesterday, or even hours before.

    “If I can come to work sick, so can you!” (Yes, but I would like to see you do it day in and day out without relief in sight for your agony)

    “You can’t be in pain, you’re walking just fine!” (I may not show signs of pain while walking, but if God and my son were not in the equation, I would lay this broken body in front of a 18 wheeler, begging for it to crush every bone in my body, just to get relief from the constant pain that I can only describe as coming from the middle of my bones!

    “If you would just do x, y or z you would be fine!” Really? You don’t think I have tried x, y, z, supplements, algae, acupuncture, every known pill to human kind, bear urine or worms? And PS: It’s great that your friend started eating apples and totally rid herself of her autoimmune disease. . . I TOTALLY believe she has no more problems ;)

    “If you would stop doing x, y or z things would be fine!” Oh??? And the four years as a preteen when this all started, BEFORE I ever did x, y or z can be explained how? Common sense tells me if I had a disease years before I started doing something, then that something is not causing my disease. But that’s just me, common sense and science talking, and what do we know?

    “You’re too young to have this much stuff wrong with you, or that is just too many symptoms!” Oh I love that one, seeing as my illness started when I was 12 years old, and it took them a year just to figure out what it was. You don’t think I believe that too? You don’t think I feel the world is totally unfair that I have had to live most of my life sick???? Every day is something different, and it’s Russian roulette as to what I will experience from hour to hour, so please just back off. Maybe if we had ThyroidChange advocating for us, with accurate diagnoses back then including our choice of medication, things could have been different these past 30 years! AND MAYBE my mother, who passed away from liver cancer, could have had her Hashimoto's diagnosed and she wouldn't have passed away when she was only 32, seeing as they now have a correlation between her type of liver cancer and untreated hypothyroidism. Hmmm, what else do they not understand yet????

    “You’re just being lazy!” Excuse me, have you ever looked around your home at all the things you want to get done, been SO PHYSICALLY TIRED that even folding laundry one day makes your arms shake from weakness, and not even had the energy to cry anymore about all the things you are missing out on???? Well, HAVE YOU? Or have you ever had enough energy to cry about things so hard you find yourself sitting in the middle of the kitchen floor bawling like a baby because you have no idea what it is going to be like ten years down the road, whether you will even be the least bit of help for your growing children, or WORSE, will you be dragging them from doctor to doctor too because they have inherited the same autoimmune disease as you, your mother, her siblings and her mother?????? Have you EVER been so terrified that you ruined your child’s life just by bringing them into this world with your genes???? Probably not, so wipe that smug, know it all, your better than me smirk off your face before I do it for you if I can muster up enough energy.
    Add your Story Add your Story