Part 4.

During this time frame I also learned to do the shopping and do it right. This was a duty that my wife had always considered her domain and I seldom ventured into a grocery store for more than a handful of items. I didn't know where anything was and had to learn everything. I also learned to wash and dry the clothes and of course put everything away.

We continued to make the trips to Huntsville oncology every two weeks for the treatments and with each successive treatment the side affects grew progressively worse. As I recall it was just before the third chemotherapy treatment that my wife's hair began to fall out. Two days later I shaved her head. She cried as I cut her lovely hair down to the scalp in preparation for the shaving. With an aching heart I assured her that it would come back. When we finished with her I shaved my own head in moral support and then our fifteen year old son volunteered to make it unanimous and his support was strictly unsolicited.

We had purchased a wig through a beauty shop just a quarter mile down the road from our home. The beautician was a kind hearted woman and is a family friend. She got the wig for us at her cost. My wife wore the wig out in public but preferred a turban when she was at home.

Soon after this incident the chemotherapy side affects that we thought weren't going to be so bad got much, much worse. My wife would be incredibly sick the first and second nights after a session. Neither of us got much sleep at night and I can still to this day close my eyes and hear her groans of misery. She began to complain of a foul smell emanating from her skin but I assured her that I smelled nothing unusual. At first I couldn't detect the odor that she was referencing but that soon changed. I never did tell her that there was a bad odor associated with the chemotherapy. She was miserable enough without thinking that her odor could offend people. It never offended me of course. I understood the source of the odor and that was frankly one worry that she could do without. It is worth noting that our fifteen year old son did reference an odor once in her presence. As my wife looked at him I shook my head, gesturing for him to be quiet and blamed the odor on my cooking, which come to think of it, might well have been the source of what he smelled.

After the first few chemotherapy sessions my wife's surgeon recommended that she have a shunt embedded in her chest for the administering of the medication. This was necessary because the powerful drug was literally damaging her veins through which the chemotherapy was being administered. The surgery to implant this device in my wife's upper chest region seemed to be harder on her than the original surgery. The recuperation also seemed to be more difficult for her.

At around the mid point of my wife's chemotherapy I began to run low on my remaining vacation days. I had managed to use them carefully by working most days and taking vacation days only the first two days after the chemotherapy and of course in the aftermath of the surgeries. Our brother-in-law who was married to my wife's sister understood the situation and he stepped forward and volunteered to take my wife to the doctor's appointments and for chemotherapy thus allowing me to work and keep ends met to a degree. Our bill structure was pretty much tied to a dual income and with the loss of my wife's income things were beginning to get tough. My parents helped by waving the house payment one month.

With my brother-in-law stepping in to assist, I managed to keep us afloat somehow. Once more the assistance of our families was a Godsend. It seemed every time they visited they brought in groceries and household cleaning supplies. The oldest sister and the one next to my wife in age were fantastic. God bless them for their kindness. I will never forget what they did for us and would do anything for either of them. The sister next to my wife in age was the mother of the nieces who helped with the cleaning and the wife of the brother-in-law who was himself a cancer survivor. His moral support for us was incredibly beneficial. He was without a doubt the kindest, most unselfish and giving man I've ever known. Sadly the disease came back in his case and he passed away a few years back. My wife never forgot his kindness and would visit him to try to cheer him up and lend her moral support. She was devastated when he passed away. Everyone who knew that gentleman was devastated.

There were a battery of other medical tests from CT scans and an MRI to x-rays and blood work. My brother-in-law took my wife to many of these tests so that I could continue to save as much time off as possible. These tests were necessary to determine if the cancer had spread to other organs.

Continued in Part 5.