About this iReport
  • Approved for CNN

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    Posted June 29, 2014 by
    This iReport is part of an assignment:
    Your modern family

    Single mom....by choice :)


    CNN PRODUCER NOTE     At 30, Mstyiyd knew she wanted to be a mom. She had just gotten out of a painful breakup, but didn’t want the lack of a partner to stop her from having a child. ‘My biological clock had started ticking loudly,’ she said. 'I didn't want to wait to see if Mr. Right was going to show up. Maybe he never would, or maybe I'd be 44. I wanted to have a child more than I wanted to wait around and see if I would fall in love with someone.'

    Already putting herself through college and graduated school, the clinical social worker felt prepared to start a family, but discovered shortly after making the decision to try intrauterine insemination that her body had other plans for her. She went through dozens of failed procedures, and was even hospitalized due to complications for a period of time.

    Short on money and physically and mentally exhausted, she took on another job to try to raise enough funds to get in vitro fertilization. She worked two years, and raised enough for the procedure. By the time she was 32, she was pregnant with her daughter Gabby.

    Gabby is now three years old, and although money can be tight at times as a single parent, Mstyiyd says she feels blessed for the decision she made to be a single parent by choice. 'In a perfect world, there was a part of me that wished I had met the man of my dreams, married him, and had two kids,’ she said.

    'Life doesn't always turn out the way you expected, but I believe there are reasons for things. I was meant to be Gabby's mama. It was a long hard road, I worked my fingers literally to the bone to save up for it, and now I finally have a little family,’ she said.
    - Jareen, CNN iReport producer

    I am a 38 year old who decided to have a baby on my own after I reached my early 30's and was not seriously dating anyone. I figured I could meet someone eventually, but wasn't sure I would always have the time to have a baby. I always knew I wanted to be a mother, and by then my career was in place and I had bought a home. After what turned out to be a long fertility battle, I was able to finally become pregnant using donor embryos from an anonymous couple at my fertility clinic. My daughter was conceived by this couple in 2007 and was a five day old embryo when I 'adopted' her. She is what fertility doctors refer to as a "snowflake baby". She was "thawed" in 2010 and a miracle occured...I got pregnant and stayed pregnant! My little girl is now three years old, and the light of my life. I struggle at times with being a working mom, but we have a strong network of family and friends and we're blessed. I still hope someday to meet someone so she can have a solid male role model, but if that doesn't happen, she's got a wonderful village of people who love her, and I take great comfort in this.
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