Washington DC

                                                                                Several prominent organizations this morning announced that they would be backing the McCain/Palin campaign in the upcoming 2008 election, citing Gov. Palin in particular as their reason for their monumental decision.                                                                               

The National Organization of Women (NOW), a liberal group devoted to preserving reproductive rights for women and shattering misogynistic stereotypes, was first to endorse Gov. Palin. Said Ezra Poundstone, the Chairwomyn of NOW:

                                                                                "All of my sisters at NOW are behind me in completely endorsing Gov. Palin as our candidate in the 2008 presidential election, and through her Sen. John McCain. We originally supported Hillary Clinton, but we feel that Gov. Palin is in all regards essentially a carbon copy of Sen. Clinton as far as womens' rights go. We would also like to award Gov. Palin our "Athena's Hammer" award for so succesfully smashing the glass floor that womyn have been standing on for the last 30 years and plumetting the world's perception of what it means to be an American womyn into the toilet where it will rightfully languish for another 30 years. "

                                                                                "We particularly salute Gov. Palin for her principled stand that womyn should only be able to receive back-alley abortions with pliers and a vice-grip and her enobling stance that womyn who have been raped must not only bear their rapist's child, but also pay for the rape kit at the police station. NOW and womyn everywhere applaud you Gov. Palin!"                                                                               

Later this morning the Rev. Bartholemew Stance, head of the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People (NAACP) also came out in support of the Palin/McCain ticket.                                                                               

"No one politician has done more to stand up for the rights of colored people in America than Gov. Palin" said Rev. Stance. "Her rallies have been shining examples of tolerance and understanding between the races. We have been assured by Gov. Palin's campaign that the camera shots of the "seperate-but-equal" sections at her rallies where the vast number of her colored supporters sit have not been shown in news clips due to the biased coverage of the liberal media. As I'm sure all Brothers and Sisters know, the liberal elites have never been the friend of the black man, and this just proves it."

                                                                                "We are also pleased to hear that Gov. Palin's supporters are calling for Brack Obama's head--clearly these fine Americans would like to see Gov. Palin bring Sen. Obama on board in the capacity of an advisor of some type once she wins the election. We also thank Gov. Palin's supporters for making sure that enough room was made for African American cameramen covering her conventions to sit, although we would like to point out that that particular camerman was 46 years old and is therefore not really a "boy" any more."

                                                                                The American Civil Liberties Union, a liberal organization dedicated to preserving individual freedoms, was quick to follow with an endorsement of Gov. Palin. In a briefly worded statement the ACLU said:

                                                                                "The ACLU has always fought for individual freedoms. We feel we couldn't have found a better voice for our opinions than Gov. Palin. Whether it's inquiring into banning books in the Wasilla library, ensuring that snake handling and speaking in tongues are part of the State Religion, or requiring that all homosexuals register at sexual re-assignment camps, we feel that Gov. Palin's views are in lockstep, nay goosestep, with those of the ACLU."                                                                               

Similar endorsements of Gov. Palin are expected later this afternoon from Stevie Wonder, The Fugees, Gloria Steinem, Erykah Badu, Ladysmith Black Mambazo, and, posthumously, Susan B. Anthony.