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    Posted July 15, 2014 by
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    I Hate This Monkey Movie, and Here's Why You Should, Too

    I loved the last Planet of the Apes movie--not the current one--the 2011 one that had the apes running amok in San Francisco and finally fleeing via the Golden Gate into the Muir Woods. That one was spellbinding.

    The current "Dawn of the Planet, etc." is a foray into gun control poitics and bad monkey acting, with Caesar cast as a too-deep thinking and feeling Hamlet. Sorry, this one had me staring into the darkness of the movie theater floor, head in hands, praying for this one to be over, which it would never seem to be.

    OK, you know the story. "Simian Flu" wipes out most of humanity, and the apes have gone off into the woods outside San Francisco to set up a cave man utopia, compete with cave drawings, rustic dwellings and other tribalistic regalia. The NRA cannot be much of a fan of this anti gun tale, for the film places all the blame for society's ills (whether monkeys or men) on the firearm.

    True, free flowing guns are not a good idea in today's world, but trying to center a movie script on nouanced morality messages about advanced weaponry or the fact that good and bad exist among both ape and man---that's all fabulous, but my Planet of the Apes fix needs to have blatant, in your face action and payback, like the last one. In the 2011 installment, I thrilled at the anarchistic trashing of civilized society by the justifiably ticked off monkeys. Maybe the fact that society was already trashed in "Dawn" left me cold by comparison. Attempts at subtle philosophic distinctions between good and bad monkeys or people left me yearning for this sequel to be over not long after it had begun.

    All America seems to love this film (by opening day receipts) though there were about five people in the New Jersey theatre where I saw it yesterday. Go ahead and see it, but don't say I didn't warn you.
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