"Special Needs Candidates Johnny and Miss Sarah" ...an urgent plea from the McCain Campaign

Please stop picking on our two precious candidates. I don't think it is right to be so disrespectful when they obviously are special needs candidates.

When Johnny sticks his tongue out and humps sideways across the stage with his locked arms outstretched in an erratic zombie goosestep, like a senior in Boca looking for his lost Buick in the Target parking lot, please give him the space he needs to be himself and don't post ridiculing ireports with headlines that read he is after Miss Sarah's buttocks. I think an iReporter named cleanenergy did this and it upset Miss Sarah and Johnny a fitful bunch...they were persnickety the rest of the day. Even though they enjoyed themselves playing a little retarded grab ass on the short campaign bus...you should have seen it ...o'l boy! ....you betcha' ....it was cute... in a twisted incestuous GOP sort of way...which is the way we like it...(punctuate by imagining a big o'l exhuberant Miss Sarah wink here....because we all enjoy those insightful moments when Miss Sarah is discussing the important issues facing real americans...we'd have her here for ya winkin herself if she wasn't out doing the people's business meeting with ambassador Neiman Marcus...talking about Gaza and Mizrahi).

When Miss Sarah is interviewed by that annoying Katie Couric, with all her set-up questions, and Miss Sarah answers in her own unique heretofore unheard lost language of jumbled pig latin with a perceptibly imbecilic distorted marble mouth dialect...please allow her to be Miss Sarah....give her the space she needs to carry the torch for all GOP special needs candidates...after all she can see all those newsy anchors from her back porch, any day she wants, and see them coming with their set-up questions like the Russians attacking her personally... that's why she likes her back porch so much... because she can see a lot from there...including some things her neighbors do that she sees, when she is being vigilant and keeping us safe by seeing and looking through their window when its dark and she can't be detected .....and people should know Barack Obama is dark....she detected this all by herself, er, ah, well Todd was there to and so was Bristol, Willow, Piper, Track and Trig... just your typical american family on a family night out, dressed in consignment designer clothes looking in any o'l somebodies liberal window...but this little tidbit she's gonna save that for her book or the campaign trail ...wherever it is needed...to tell the folks on Main St. about the dangers of being dark....so they can participate in goverment by yelling out their own fears about hangings and killings that they'd like to carry out without detection.....but mostly Miss Sarah lurks in the darkenss so she can connect with real americans...in those areas of real america...

When Johnny talks about how much he likes his lonely invisible canine friend "underdog" please don't snicker at the angry little boy in him...he needs to let it out... so as to not further fester the wound his temper tantrums have marked on his already detached persona.

These are special needs candidates who need our love and warmth and the space to be free to express the derision, anger, hatred, and racism on a level playing field unobstructed by public opinion... please won't you help us spread the word about these special needs candidates...and let them do their work in the peaceful glorification to all that is special.

Their specialness alone is a blessing for us to collectively share in and for us all to come together for...so on this upcoming election day...vote the special ticket...vote for Johnny and Miss Sarah...won't you please... God Bless your Hartz!