This iReport is part of an assignment:
PTSD and veterans
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Posted November 10, 2008
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Location
Augusta, Georgia
Augusta, Georgia
Assignment
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PTSD and Veterans - A Medic's Perspective
I put up a video (iReport) in prelude to this report. Yes, it's shameless to plug myself - but it gives a better understanding of what exaclty I am referring to. (http://www.ireport.com/docs/DOC-141683) I have honestly looked at this link for quite a few weeks and ALMOST posted a report prior to this. The reasons I have not is because of the possible response to this article. I was a medic attached to a mechanized infantry company while deployed in support of OIF III. My platoon was a part of 3ID's QRF (Quick Reaction Force) which responded to major incidents in the greater Baghdad area from February - May 2005. We flew by blackhawk and were generally deposited in an area and picked up again when mission was complete. Afterward we patrolled western Baghdad for the remainder of the year conducting mounted/dismounted patrols of the area. We had conducted more the 250 patrols before we left theatre. Our op-tempo consisted of the following: 12 hour patrols - that means 12 hours in sector. It took 1 hour to reach sector and 1 hour prep before leaving. Total work day was 16 hours. The schedule was 12 hour patrols with 24 hours off - scratch the additional 4 hours and your down to 20 off. Vehicle maintenance came out of those 20 hours - plus I still had to pull sick-call as needed for my guys. If you've ever been in a Bradley Fighting Vehicle you know the PMCS and additional maintenance is time consuming - let alone the high operating temps. 9 days a month was 'surge' - 12 hour ops with 8 hours in between patrols - all additional time still applies. Occasional OPs (observation points) were conducted with a team (4 - 6) guys. 2 - 3 up, 2 - 3 down on a sleep schedule every 2 - 4 hours for 3 days. I was working 100+ hours a week easily. Hypervigilance is an understatement when it comes to the before mentioned schedule and mission requirements. I think during surge schedule I was more scared of not waking up and missing patrol hard times - which meant I just woke up out of plain fear every hour or so. Out of the year I deployed I went on mid-tour leave and I missed 1 patrol for 'R&R' - missing 1 patrol felt like I had a week off since I was off for nearly 50 hours. I thought when I returned home things would slowly return to normal. It wasn't so. It was months later that things started to hit. I returned home in February 2006. I went on leave for 15 days in March 2006 (the unit was refitting once we returned so there was a lot of work in the mean time). I returned to my unit and then departed for the Army's Warrior Leader Course in April 2006. I attended the 18 day condensed course - which felt like being deployed again due to the short sleep schedule. I returned to the unit in May to clear and head to San Antonio for the Army's Practical Nurse Course. The two months I was there quickly went by due to the large amount of work to be done. (I drank heavily when In San Antonio but stopped as soon as I left). I arrived in Augusta in late summer (August 2006) and settled in for the remaining year of school. After 2 months with a much slower schedule I noticed that I was no longer sleeping for days at a time. It was seriously affecting my ability to work and study. I was on a myriad of meds to help me sleep with varying degrees of success or not. My temper became shorter and my interpersonal relationships suffered greatly. Now I must say this in regard to my deployment: what most people consider a horrific battlefield experince is something I did not have in Iraq. There was only a couple of 'minor' instances I will not mention here out of pure respect - but I made it through the year without incident. The medications have since been discontinued and my sleep schedule has returned to normal- but the anger and temper still occasionally flare up. My wife tells me that I shout orders in my sleep (none of which I remember) and twitch throughout the night, but not together and not always. In persuing a sleep study it was mentioned that serious sleep conditions are a boardable matter (medical discharge from active duty) and concurrant medical conditions related to high stress are also looked at. Treatment by medication is not recommended long-term and therapy is preferred instead. The term 'what is conditioned can be unconditioned' is common in my work environment. I haven't even mentioned my hearing yet. I was on a run the other day and for the first time heard random gunfire in almost 2 years (its hunting season here) and my brain went into instant 'reaction' mode without even a single conscious thought. I can tolerate fireworks as long as I have time beforehand to prepare myself. I have since stopped seeking medical assistance as I only have 18 months remaining on my contract. I do not want to be medically separated from the service as I fear it will affect future government employment opportunites. I have a goal of being commissioned as an officer once I finish my degree, but it is quickly becoming a pipe dream. I hate to toot my own horn - but I am an excellent nurse and a professional soldier. I expect out of myself and my soldiers to conduct ourselves in a professional manner and choose the hard right over the easy wrong. However to see the many soldiers come through the hospital that I care for, I often wonder what waits for them. I was not physically injured in Iraq as these that I take care of are, and they will get the best care possible under my watch. My question is this: is there anyone watching over those such as me?
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