I've been clinically dead three times ... so far.  My family history is full of cardiac troublehigh triglycerides, high lipids, high blood pressure.  My 31-year-old cousin went home, laid down to take a nap and never woke uphis heart got him.  He was the first of my generation.

I've had stents placed twice and CABG x 3 vessels. Since this last episode, I've lost my short-term memory, can't hold a job (and that cuts our income by 3/4), and have lost all self-esteem.  People treat me like I'm a small child with no understanding of the world. I hold three different degrees in journalism, nursing and english. I was always an honor student and played trivia games for fun. 

Now, I can't remember what day it is; can't remember instructions on new things; forget what's told to me just a few moments later. 

We're facing bankruptcy all because of my heart. Our house needs work, the finished basement floods every time it rains, the carpet has mold now, the windshield in our car needs replacing due to massive cracks and my husband won't take his medicines because we spend all our money on my 36 different prescriptions. 

With the economy like it is, we can't even sell property for cash to tide us over. Hence, we have no alternative but bankruptcy.  I've ruined my husband's life just because of my stupid, recalcitrant heart.

For me, there is no life after heart trouble.