This photo was taken 7 years ago, when my daughter was only 5 days old.


I breastfed my daughter exclusively until she was 7 months old, and then for several years after that for comfort and added nutrtion. She was and is healthy and happy. I breastfed my daughter in public all the time, but I managed to do it discretely, and without the aid of a baby blanket (well, we used one in the early days until she and I figured out how to do it without flashing anyone).


If she was hungry, I fed her. I'd find a quiet place to sit down (no, not the restroom, which are usually filthy). If there was a nursing room, I'd use it, but often, we'd just sit on a bench or chair on the edges of the store. If at a restaurant, I'd do it at my booth or table. I breastfed her on planes to help her ears adjust to pressure changes, and to keep her quiet, and no one ever seemed to mind (I think most people would rather have a quietly nursing baby nearby, rather than one that is screaming). No flight attendants ever hassled me.


She HATED bottles, and would only take them as a last resort, and usually only after refusing to eat for 6-8 hours, and an awful lot of screaming. I had to be gone for a business trip when she was six months old, and she refused to eat for the first 8 hours, then angrily sucked down 4 ounces from a bottle in about 30 seconds, fell into an exhausted stupor for 2 hours, woke up hungry and angry, and only screamed for 2 hours until she gave in again. Then she took her bottles without much fight, until I returned home. I was gone for about 36 hours. A week later, I had to go into the office, for only 8 hours, and the whole process started again. After about a year, she got much more friendly toward bottles - she seemed to think they were fun or a novelty.


I was fortunate that I could pump (many women don't let down for a pump), and my daughter was never once given formula, and she had no cows milk until after age 2. It wasn't easy. There were plenty of times I would have preferred to give formula. But my family has a severe history of allergies of all sorts, and breastfeeding is the best protection for that. My daughter, at 7, is completely allergy free, and given my history, and that of my husband's, it seems almost miraculous.

The only time I EVER had someone object, it was at a pharmacy alcove at a Costco near Somerville, NJ.  My daughter was 6 months old, and at that jumpy stage, where she'd pull off to see what was going on, so I usually sought quiet corners.  So I went to the pharmacy, which faced out into the store, but had a waiting area along a corridor that faced into the pharmacy, but not out into the store. So I sat down on a bench. The lights were out, so it was nice and dim, and I was sitting in the shadows. The only way anyone could see us was from the side.There was no one around at all, except for 2 pharmacy employees, both women.  The pharmacist was in back, in another room. The two women were mostly going in and out of their work room, and were keeping to the front desk, about 15 feet away.  So one of them realizes what I'm doing and says "wouldn't you prefer to use one of our counseling rooms? It's got a door that closes, and you'd have more privacy."  I was settled with my daughter who was nursing happily.  I said "no thank you. By the time I moved us and all our stuff, and got re-settled, I'll be done feeding her."  So she left me alone for a minute and then said "but don't you need more privacy?" so I replied "no, we're good, thanks." (There was really no one, other than her, around).  About 2 minutes later, she said "I've left the door ajar, so that you can move to the counseling room, if you'd like."  I finally said (with a hint of exasperation)  "look, am I showing or something?"  And she said "Oh, no, you're not showing anything at all, but I just thought you would want more privacy."  So I said firmly and politely, "no, I'm good, thanks."  She left me alone after that.  What was weird was that there were NO men around. It was dark, and quiet, and I was in the shadows - even from her perspective. She was never closer than 15 feet away.  I could only be seen by people out in the store from the side (so they'd see my arm and sleave) except that the pharmacy and the area  around it was empty of customers, so there was no one out there to see me even if they could.  She realized what I was doing, but could not see any skin whatsoever AND admitted as much.  It was only the IDEA that I was breastfeeding near her that was a problem.  I might also add that she was never once rude to me, only more pushy than I would have liked.


I am grateful that my only experience like this wasn't particularly bad, but it really was an eye-opener just how prudish people can be. I'm sorry for her discomfort (and I had taken a number of precautions to not show her any skin) , but people don't have the right to never be uncomfortable.


I've heard people say stuff like "well, peeing and defecating are natural, why can't I do THAT in public, right on the floor?". I'm always flabbergasted when I hear this justification against public breastfeeding. First of all, breast milk is NOT a waste product, and it's not going onto the floor. I suppose it COULD be squirted onto the floor, but really the same thing could be done with a bottle. Generally, the milk goes directly from mother to child, not from person to floor. It doesn't smell bad, or cause illness (the same cannot be said of formula which stinks and tastes bad) and in fact is quite the opposite. It creates a healthy person. Poop and pee do not.


Then some people suggest that breastfeeding mothers can bring along a bottle of breastmilk. Like my daughter, many breastfed infants refuse bottles (though many don't mind them). Second, preserved breastmilk, while the next best thing, is NOT as good for a baby as nursing. The moment the milk is preserved, the living parts of the milk start to die - the immunities from the mother, etc. And, not all women are able to pump. I was fortunate in that I could. And finally, a bottle of breastmilk has to be warmed up for infants - when a baby breastfeeds, it's already at the right temperature.

I also see comments like "why can't you show some consideration for our discomfort?" I'd like to turn it back to you - why can't you show some consideration for me and my child?  Why is YOUR lack of discomfort more important than that of ours?