In an unprecedented move, Republicans have declared Sponge Bob Square Pants to be the new leader of the GOP. "He has demonstrated superiority in the ability to say, "freedom", "liberty", "American Way", and "patriotism"", said a senior Republican advisor. "Why, in a recent speech, he said these terms almost twice as much as Rush Limbaugh!" he exclaimed.

Registered Republicans who responded to a recent poll, overwhelmingly felt that Mr. Square Pants is intellectually and philosophically superior to Michael Steele, and much more adept at chanting jingoistic rhetoric than even Rush Limbaugh - and he's FAR more attractive.

Highly-placed Republicans admitted, anonymously, that IF Sarah Palin makes a bid for the presidency in 2012, Sponge Bob is on the 'short list' for a running mate.

Republican spokespersons expressed confidence that this bold move will put the GOP in a strategic position to challenge the current administration.