Not long ago I spoke with a 20 something gay man who expressed a

rather disturbing attitude about contracting HIV. He said to me, "HIV

is not a big deal anymore; you just have to take one pill a day and

you're fine."

I find that hard to swallow and I am not talking about the large

horse size Atripla pill that is the once-a-day pill containing 3

medications. I am not sure when HIV became "no big deal" to some people

but it is still a big deal to me. Taking a single pill each day would

be fantastic if I could, but I can't as I struggle with my health day

to day taking more than one pill.

I do take Atripla, the once-a-day "miracle" pill but the medications

in it have raised my cholesterol to incredibly high levels so that I

take another pill to manage it. Exercise and diet have helped out

somewhat but to bring my cholesterol down to a relatively normal level

I have to take Lipitor.

The harsh side effects of Atripla give me terrible nausea and

queasiness so I take an additional pill, Nexium, to control this. I

suffer bouts of diarrhea that are most likely caused by a malady called

malabsorbtion, found in roughly about 40% of HIVers, in which I don't

absorb nutrients from my food and discharge slick, oily and urgent

bowel movements six times a day or more leaving me to take a digestive

enzyme with all my meals called Ultrese.

Sustiva is one of the three components of Atripla and has been known

to cause nightmares, or at the very least vivid dreaming. I am no

exception to this and suffer terrible nightmares at least every other

night or so. Lack of sleep is troubling to anyone's health, so I take a

sleeping pill to help me sleep better. It doesn't prevent the

nightmares but it helps me fall back to sleep after awakening from my

brain's fantastical imagined terror.

HIV will diminish testosterone in some men and I am one of these

men. The lack of testosterone has been shown to cause fatigue, low sex

drive and depression; therefore I have to take weekly injections of

testosterone. But, it turns out that when I am taking testosterone I am

susceptible to Gynecomastia, a condition where men develop

abnormally large mammary glands. Unless I want to have breasts, and I

should be clear here, I do not; I take a pill that controls the breast

development called Aromasin.

At 45 years old I am relatively young to be dealing with so many

health abnormalities and I find it absolutely depressing. I take yet

another pill to combat depression called Zoloft.

Getting my depression in check is great and wonderful but I

sometimes suffer some pretty strong bouts of anxiety that started after

bein diagnosed with HIV infection and I take an occasional Xanax for

that.

I have issues with my skin due to me being HIV infected. I visit

with a dermatologist who specializes in HIV skin conditions and I use

ointments to keep my skin looking clear and healthy.

Top this off with my bi-polar medications I take (due to my crystal

meth use) and the medications I take for a minor heart condition, which

may or may not be related to my meth use, and I am taking a total of 11

pills a day at the very least.

11 pills a day! That's a far cry from taking one pill a day. They

are like little colorful bombs exploding in my hand each evening as if

to say, "You got AIDS, you got AIDS!" with each and every swallow of a

pill. No big deal if you are one of the lucky ones who take just one

pill a day.