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  • Posted May 11, 2009 by
    Baton Rouge, Louisiana
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    Porn Sells?


    Bill Moran has introduced legislation to ban ED ads between 6 a.m. and 10 p.m. because they're indecent. I have to say, please. Tomorrow, if possible.


    It's not the issue that is indecent. ED is real, and a real problem.


    It's not the drugs. The drugs can be helpful, and people should know about them.


    It's the MANNER of advertising. It's suggestive. It's titilating. It's disgusting. In trying to make the act of asking for the drugs less embarrassing, they've created 30-second soft porn clips for all and sundry to see.


    And the ED ads are NOT alone.  It's now to the point that we automatically mute every commercial or actually turn off the TV when they come on. (We're pondering TiVo just for the anti-commercials feature.)


    Offensive, inappropriate images and language seem to be the norm, not the exception. Those obnoxious penis-enlargment scams/ads run in the middle of classic movies that are otherwise safe for family viewing.  Scantily clad women and men hawk everything from laxatives to tooth whiteners, so even if we find a program that's suitable for the whole family, we have to be on our guard during commerical breaks.


    Double entendre and not-so-double-entendre muscles into our living room, purporting to sell everything imaginable (except acutal sex services, which is apparently still illegal, for now) but actually asking me to sell my family's values to them cheap. There are a few safe ads...usually mayonnaise, air freshener, and life insurance ads are at least fairly mild,  but not much else.


    Courtesy of "edgy" advertising, both my kids now know what ED is and what is meant by a "happy period," thank you very much. They do know why we mute certain commercials and why we turn others off completely so that the TV doesn't mysteriously go silent or dark. (Hint for the rest of you: it's because we believe in the principle of GIGO--garbage in, garbage out. Why bother selecting a family-friendly program that doesn't undermine our values if we let the suggestive and inappropriate commercials play with impunity? Only watch what you want to actually do--or watch your kids do--we say. These days, that's hard enough, without having to battle the advertisers.)


    One evening not so long ago, I  was in the kitchen and my husband wasn't quick enough on the draw with the remote. We accidentally let a Quiznos commerical run. It left me frankly aghast.


    Obviously intended to be edgy and cool, it's basically gay porn. (If you haven't seen it, you can google "put it in me Scott Quiznos," and be sure to read the accolades from some in the gay community, who evidently think sneaking this trash into my house is the right way to forward their agenda.) The program was acceptable, but the commercial was absolutely nauseating. What's up with THAT?!


    Understand this: it's the porn that gags me, only made worse by Quizno's assumption that I don't mind being subjected to it and that since it didn't actually show gay sex, it was acceptable viewing for my children. Gay or otherwise, it was gross. I have a pretty irreverent sense of humor, but this didn't amuse me; it stunned me. It angered me because my kids were there, and let me assure you they weren't up later than they should have been or watching an adult- themed program. 


    Frankly, what they call "edgy" left me feeling violated.


    I don't want to hear (or have my kids hear!) a WOMAN's voice saying those words to a man, or to have them notice and wonder why the subs were artfully arranged to look like phalluses.


    Bile rose in my throat when I heard the closing line of the commerical and saw that final image. My first thought was How dare they? Thankfully, the kids were inattentive at that point and perhaps didn't catch it. We glossed over it, and they haven't mentioned it. So far, so good.


    But, in a token gesture of my disgust, I'll vote with my wallet.  I'll never buy another Quizno's gift card for the teachers again or eat a sub from there--it would hurt my heart to put any more of my money into their pockets to make more trash ads like this. I guess it might earn them some business from SOMEbody with this kind of garbage advertising, but not from me. I don't want to walk in and find the servers dressed in bustiers, garter belts, peek-a-boo panties or banana thongs just for the shock value, you know? Please just stay focused on the fresh ingredients folks, the healthful benefits, and the delicious combinations, I say. I'll frequent your shop. You don't need to shock me into  buying a sandwich. Really.


    What say you? Should commericals that play during "family friendly" programming be required to be as tame as the program they break into? Should "edgy" advertising be able to force its way into our home, subversively popping in when we least expect it? If this kind of thing is allowed to go on, what in the world is next?!

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