After my latest breakup, when I was already in the turmoil of job and family problems, I tried Match.com and used an aggressive technique--browsing all the ads in my search radius then leaving a short note for the ones who looked promising: "Hi, saw your ad and would be interested in corresponding with you. Check out my profile and write back, if interested." This tactic was somewhat necessary, as most recently posted ads were last on the list and most likely to be overlooked. I had wonderful penpal relationships with a number of men and came out with The Top Two. I met one of them and he was freshly out of a divorce and ended up breaking my heart. (I think they got back together because later when I was in his city, he and his wife's name were still listed together in the telephone directory.) Favorite number 2 turned out to be The One--kind and compassionate, amorous and affectionate, intelligent with a great sense of humor. His divorce had been a decade ago and he was over most of those issues. He was eager to settle down and I thought, what do I really have to lose by trying? So I relocated and we have had a wonderful marriage for 10 1/2 years now.