Well, my 1st born, Justin, when he was born, my very first question to the doctor was, is he ok?  Is he healthy....they told me more than once, you have a healthy baby boy, apgars 9/9.  I was soooo relieved, so happy, ......I had always visions of attending his first baseball game, I visioned his getting married and 'the mother's dance' ...then sometime after 8 mos. I started to notice little by little at the wellness visits to his pediatrician that Justin wasn't doing what most kids were doing.  He started off babbling, then stopped.  Didn't talk.  Drooled excessively even after a year 1/2......didn't play appropriately with toys; had horrible meltdowns as if in pain; so many things, yet, I'd bring it up to the doctor and in the beginning I was being told, "you know, every child develops differently, give it some time"....low and behold at 2 years old he was diagnosed with Autism, Sensory Integration Disorder, Severe Apraxia, had Gastrointestinal & Feeding problems, still does.  To say that we were crushed is an understatement.  I was sad, angry, depressed, went for a 2nd opinion, then a 3rd.  When I did finally accept it, I still internally beat myself up.  I wondered, did I do something wrong, did I eat something I shouldn't have, every stupid way of internally blaming yourself.  NO answers to my many questions, pure frustration and plane self guilt.  I thought, is something wrong with me, I waited too long to have kids?  Then one day a doctor mentioned to me something brief about Biomedical Research and I jumped on it quickly.  I researched, read, studied all I could, still learning today.  There was so much data, many parents witness to their child's recovery from Autism, researchers, etc.  My background in Neurology helped some in understanding.  Every human being's genetic makeup is very different, biomedically, etc.  Different things work for different kids.  Do I believe Justin will one day be 'recovered' from autism?  I really don't know, but I know that I'm a proactive mom, unwilling to sit passive, if there is something I can do to help my child be the best he can be....I leave it to God to guide me to who will help Justin best, without taking dangerous risks.

To read about our journey, visit our website.

http://justinsrecoverywish.blogspot.com/

I feel a bit disapointed that insurance will pay for procedures/different things that seem to prolong instead of fixing the problem.  But we will not stop being proactive parents in helping our children as best we can...