(My best recolleciton)

I ,44,  had a seizure while asleep in bed a few months ago. My wife dialed 911 and I woke up to find a bunch of uniformed strangers standing around my bed saying "Why don't you get dressed come with us, nice and quiet-like?"

Whisked away to the local hospital my memory  soon failed me as I quite passively underwent some more tests, after which I was promptly transfered to another hospital soon thereafter because they had the "facilities and staff to fix this problem". That sounded promising.

I was conscious long enough to hear talk about "tumor" "craniotomy", peruse some charts and papers, and greet some of my family at bedside.

The few days I lay in about post-op were tedious to me. My face was numb but felt well enough to walk and do things on my own. I wanted to go home and await the verdict there where friends had set me up with recliners and an excercycle.

Partial clot in the leg aside, I tried to focus on getting from A  to B under my own steam. There were, I felt, issues long ignored that needed to be squared away should I be walking the proverbial mile. I spent seemingly endless hours thinking about work,  money, life and death. But I felt good, downright bouncy at times.

Worst-case scenario turned to best-case as my growth turned to to be a mere Schwannoma and everything healed wonderfully.

I was allowed to drive and go back to work - be useful again - by 7-8 weeks. The worst nuisances after all this, to me, remain medical costs and the tolerable numbness around the right corner of my mouth. I'm confident this will pass. Or not. I'll just adapt.

But most serious to me is the shift in the relationship between my wife and I, and  for quite a number of rather hefty reasons. I could shrug it off as the usual side effects of prescription pills   warn of: fatigue, vision impairment, tumors (jk), etc. but also fits of anger and/or suicidal thoughts.

People dealing with the inevitablity of mortality in different ways is wholly natural - or cultural, if you will. Ignoring an ostensibly dying person's last wishes can be one such mechanism.  Its said that  "All is vanity"  Yes? No? Thursday?

Anyone else experience a  tumor leading to idle hands, leading to idle minds?