President Obama you've expressed difficulties in trying to quit smoking. My dearly departed father went cold turkey, a friend quit due to hard economic forces at work. Whether its herculean self-will or catastrophic economic forces, quitting is so very hard to do.

Here I took imaginative leaps into the creative distance to come up with some fantastic suggestions that might momentarily put a smile in your face and not a cigarette butt:

1. You are a man of the world. African heritage, Indonesian resident, Hawaiian beachboy. What if in all these 3 places they will give you the very thing you do not have, a royal title that can, yes, be passed on to your next generation of heirs male or female. The first title, in Africa, Supreme Overlord of King Lions. #2 Elephant King Gamesha's Royal Brother that will put you in a horse and elephant royal merger that will be a real bipartisan triumph with your Republican cohorts. #3, title from Hawaii, King Kamehameha's 2009th heir.

2. North Korea, Venezuela and Iran will send out feelers thatr if you quit smoking they will be in their best behavior ever.

3. That after your illustrous presidency, any or all of the international champions of England's prestigious Blackpool Ballroom kings and queens will give you free lessons in ballroom dancing, jive, brazilian, boogie, dancing lessons that a Hongkong heiress paid 15 and a half million dollars to have these dancing teachers.

But if this does not work, come to the Phillippines where there's a cure-all for everything. One of these so called cures is a concoction of dried seahorse, sharkfin, and bile from a sunbear. Imagine that if you quit smoking you will be saving these critically endangered species. Imagine how many of these you will save.

So take heart, take action, quit smoking.