Being a woman in the 21st century has translated into many more opportunities available to us than what the generation before had. We, as women, have been told we can 'have it all' - a career, a spouse/partner, a family. And while there is always the designation of a 'working' mom or a 'stay-at-home' mom in our daily lives - in reality, all of us are busy whether if it comes in a form of a check or not.

My mom was on the cusp between generations. She started as a stay-at-home mom, raising three girls, and keeping it all together while my dad traveled extensively. But at the same time, she decided to finish her college degree and explored several careers. She retired from her career just a couple of years ago.

As our mother's daughters and having a father that also helped as an enabler, my sisters and I made choices in our lives that allowed us to 'have it all' by our own individual definitions. My oldest sister is a mother of two, had a very successful career at a Seattle-based software company, and retired from her work after the birth of the second child. She, to this day, is very active in her children's PTA/school foundation and her univeristy's alumni program. To her, she has it all.

My middle sister became a single mother. She did not receive a college degree and while she tries to make ends meet on a daily basis, she also tries to ensure her teenager son can have the best support available to him. To her, she has it all.

As for me, I was a technology consultant for many years making work the focus of my life. And at the time of my son's birth, I decided to opt-out, take a 'break' from work (and I am fortunate to have to ability to do so), and be a stay-at-home mom. The needs of my child were the vastly different from the demands of my consulting clients. The sleep depreviation was the same; however I enjoyed the night-time feedings more than working on a PowerPoint presentation at 2am. And in the last three and a half years, from the point in which my son was born, my life has changed - I have changed.

I am still stay-at-home as I don't want to take this time for granted with my son. He will only be a toddler once. I have found ways to use my skills during this 'unpaid' time as I am now the Director for one of the largest volunteer-based/run mothers groups in the nation (Golden Gate Mothers Group in San Francisco with over 3,300 members). Talk about a diverse group of moms and the fifty-plus volunteers, who run all the programming for this organzation, are phenominal. We do this, i.e., - give back to the moms, in our 'free' time, which means email exchanges going beyond midnight. And we have a membership, which continues to grow, that has found us as one of the most essential resources available at child-birth.

Do I feel like I have it all as I discussed with the above? Absolutely and resoundingly - YES! Does my 3.5 year old son think so? Maybe... He's too young to understand other than his frustrations with me and tells me to put down the phone or the computer. But in seeing how I revere my mom and what she was able to do; there will be some part of this that he will eventually understand and that will undoubtedly shape him.

The thing I do love about my sitation is that I do have the flexibility to spend time with him and still have some aspects of being a stay at home mom. And he gets to see me do things that directly benefit him - such as teaching him baseball or basketball (as my husband is European and doesn't understand American sports), and just being there with him to establish a foundation... to learn and grow.