INDY'S CORNER - August 10, 2009

I rarely read Parade, the feel-good Sunday soma shoved between the Target ads and Dagwood Bumstead, unless I'm either visiting my mother and need something to stare at while pretending to listen attentively, or, I need a good Sunday "Bowl Read."

And yesterday, I needed a good bowl read, and what a shocker I encountered: "What Obama Can Teach America's Kids" by none other than Papa Bear Bill O'Reilly, complete with a picture of him hugging a group of mixed-ethnicity youth.  The sight sure moved things along, so to speak.

Bill put politics aside for a moment - we all know how strongly the Fox commentator reviles most of the President's policy - to focus on the person, his achievement, and what young people can learn from his example.  I was so floored I forgot to spray Febreze.

The buzz was short-lived.  Not more than an hour later did I stumble onto an iReport posting of the "open" letter/rant/diatribe of Lou Pritchett, former Proctor & Gamble VP, and author of the executive-targeted motivational cliche Stop Paddling and Start Rocking the Boat. 

(One thing I've noticed that executives and mothers have in common: they'll spend money on just about any fool thing if it's got the right buzzword.  Moms will spend loads of money on "Baby Einstein" products on account of the mere suggestion that their toddlers will become smarter than other toddlers, by watching dancing puppets and colorful toys on TV, while listening to classical music.  Executives, likewise, will drop tons of leftover budget allotment on "Change Management" and "Process Improvement", even when the product in question is little more than dancing puppets and colorful toys in nice suits and carrying Blackberries.)

The "letter" was so smack full of ignorance, it almost made me rush back to the bathroom.  Surely, another Internet crank, another viral e-mail falsely attributed to someone with an inkling of credibility, like the alleged David Letterman (or Jay Leno, a week later) monologues?  A quick check of Snopes revealed it was, in fact, authentic!

It was then that I realized that there are two types of folks in America: people who seek out facts, and want to have reasoned, reality-based debate on critically important issues, and those for whom politics is sport, a comic-book alter-world, a Jerry Springer Show with the veneer of respectable discourse.  America's Got Politics!

What surprised me so much was the authorship.  This was not some crackpot blogger in a cave, with a minimal mastery of the language, a cable modem, and too much free time.  Nope, this was a champion of the business world, exhibiting conduct unbecoming someone of his position.  Now, lots of people oppose the President and his party.  Plenty of folks in all walks of life don't like Big Gub'mint, pro-consumer tax schedules, or the idea of a public health insurance option.  Scores of Americans prefer tougher stances on the international stage.  Many are unconvinced about the need to reduce fossil fuel consumption. 

That's what America is all about.  We have become great by the open exchange of ideas and opinion.

America is also about the American Dream - something of which Mr. Pritchett has clearly reaped the benefits.  Barack Obama also typifies the American dream; a person raised in modest means, with no special pedigree or connections, who rose to the greatest heights simply through hard work, persistence, and merit.  Why would Mr. Pritchett, who undoubtedly credits himself fully for his successes, be so inclined to invalidate the achievements of another American?  Even Bill O'Reilly  understands the difference between politics and person.

And such is why the Pritchetts of America are losing ground.  Ad hominem attacks are extremely persuasive when people aren't paying attention.  But once the issues become  important enough, people do pay attention; and to people looking for real answers to real problems, folks like Pritchett make those conservatives with legitimate concerns about the direction of the country look like Crackpots by Association.  People who are worried about their jobs, their 401K's, and their healthcare don't give a rat's hindquarters about the Birth Certificate nonsense, or the Comically Exaggerated Conspiracy of the Week, the supposed "Snitch Patrol."  (Oh please!)

We can do better.  A real discussion is needed, because some very important issues have been irresponsibly pushed to the back burner for far too long by previous administrations, Republican and Democratic alike.  They are now ready to boil over. 

So, Mr. Pritchett, I hereby dissect and rebut your open letter, to demonstrate to you and your ilk just what a disservice you do to those Americans who want to engage in a debate based on facts and reality.

Dear President Obama:
You are the thirteenth President under whom I have lived and unlike any of the others, you truly scare me.

You scare me because after months of exposure, I know nothing about you.

President Barack Obama is the leader of the free world, and as such there are volumes upon volumes of biography written and readily available.  If you "know nothing", it is a matter of ignorance by choice.  What does your book say about willful ignorance?

You scare me because I do not know how you paid for your expensive Ivy League education and your upscale lifestyle and housing with no visible signs of support..

So how does anyone not fortunate enough to be born into a wealthy, connected white family get an Ivy League education?  With scholarships, student loans, and a ton of hard work.  Then you become an attorney, perhaps marry another attorney, pay off your loans, and live well.  What's troubling is the implication that only wealthy, connected white people are entitled to attend Ivy League schools - a most un-American concept.

You scare me because you did not spend the formative years of youth growing up in America and culturally you are not an American.

If his family were from Europe, and he had traveled abroad to Europe for part of his childhood, would you be uttering the same revolting comment?  If John McCain had been elected, having been born in Panama and not settling in the states until he was 15, would you be uttering the same revolting comment?  Did you ever tell any of your employees they were "culturally not an American?"

What's "culturally" un-American, his wearing of tailored suits?  His love of basketball?  His penchants for pizza and chili?  His iPod full of Miles Davis and Rolling Stones?

Can you spell "xenophobia?"

You scare me because you have never run a company or met a payroll..

Neither did most great Presidents, including the iconic Ronald Reagan.  Career politicians have this crazy tendency to spend their time working in law and politics instead. 

How well were we served by our first "MBA President?"  How was our balance sheet at the end of his tenure?

You scare me because you have never had military experience, thus don’t understand it at its core.

So you'd have the same criticism of our previous two Presidents, as well as Thomas Jefferson and Franklin Delano Roosevelt? 

You scare me because you lack humility and 'class', always blaming others.

If criticizing the Bush administration is "blaming", then I guess all political candidates are "blamers".  Otherwise, you'd be pretty hard-pressed to find a factual example of Mr. Obama blaming someone else for his own failings.  Or, are we propagating a common stereotype about Black Americans?

How much "class" is exhibited by a former executive sending fact-starved rant letters to major newspapers for self-promotion?  "Class" is what Lou Pritchett can learn from Bill O'Reilly.

You scare me because for over half your life you have aligned yourself with radical extremists who hate America and you refuse to publicly denounce these radicals who wish to see America fail.

Oh, the William Ayers thing is so Yesterday's Xenophobic Conspiracy.  But to indulge, serving on an educational board with someone who was a radical 40 years ago, during a time of widespread anti-war radicalism, and has since become a respected contributor to society, hardly qualifies as cavorting with America-hating terrorists for most of one's life.  Is deliberate distortion of reality part of the "Stop Paddling" program?  If so, that would explain a lot about the corporate culture that enabled the financial disasters of 2007 and 2008.

You scare me because you are a cheerleader for the ‘blame America ‘ crowd and deliver this message abroad.

A seasoned executive should know that stubborn refusal to admit any failings is not an admirable leadership quality.  Stop Paddling!

You scare me because you want to change America to a European style country where the government sector dominates instead of the private sector.

Ah, yes, I clearly remember this very sentence from his campaign speeches: "I'd like to see us be more like those European style countries where the government sector dominates the private sector." 

You scare me because you want to replace our health care system with a government controlled one..

Another gross distortion.  Since we currently have a Medicare program, and the current proposal lets people with adequate private insurance keep it, there is no "replacement" going on.  At best, it could be considered an "expansion" of a government program that already exists - and is greatly appreciated by a vast majority of retired Americans.  Have we anything to say about the actual bill, and not the Straw Man?

You scare me because you prefer ‘wind mills’ to responsibly capitalizing on our own vast oil, coal and shale reserves.

Any executive worth a hill of beans knows it's unwise to stake your future on a finite resource.  The earlier one seeks alternatives, the better.  Not to do so would be irresponsible governance.

You scare me because you want to kill the American capitalist goose that lays the golden egg which provides the highest standard of living in the world.

Deliciously poetic.  But, unregulated corporatism seems to have done a fine job of strangling the Goose, thus far in the 21st century.

You scare me because you have begun to use ‘extortion’ tactics against certain banks and corporations.

Most executives would not qualify "if you're going to take our bailout money, there will be some conditions attached" as "extortion."

You scare me because your own political party shrinks from challenging you on your wild and irresponsible spending proposals.

Welcome to the disappointing world of American Party Politics.  Republicans also have a knack for being sycophants, it's not unique to Democrats.

You scare me because you will not openly listen to or even consider opposing points of view from intelligent people.

Did you pen this same complaint to the President's infamously "my way or the highway" predecessor?

You scare me because you falsely believe that you are both omnipotent and omniscient.

I can't seem to recall the President ever saying such a thing.  Maybe Oprah did.  But Oprah is a moron.

You scare me because the media gives you a free pass on everything you do.

Yes, it's awfully hard to find criticism of the President in our media.  It's not like there are 24-hour cable channels, conservative magazines, newspapers, and thousands of websites dedicated to it, or anything.

You scare me because you demonize and want to silence the Limbaughs, Hannitys, O’Reillys and Becks who offer opposing, conservative points of view..

O'Reilly is being awfully nice to someone who supposedly "demonized" him by appearing on his show.  As for the rest - can you provide an example?  I'm afraid I can't accept this one without backup.

You scare me because you prefer controlling over governing.

Wait, I thought you "knew nothing" about the President.  But you somehow know his management style?  Hmm...

Finally, you scare me because if you serve a second term I will probably not feel safe in writing a similar letter in 8 years.

If you wallow in this level of paranoia for eight years, that is indeed a likely outcome.  Chances are you'll also need some psychiatric medications.  I hope you have very generous health insurance with regards to mental health coverage!

Yours in Change Management,
Richard Phillips, "Indy609"