We planned for a year and a half so I thought we had plenty of time to make things...perfect. At the ceremony, which took place outside, my son was stung by a bee in the neck just before he was due to walk down the isle. My then 2 year old son kept running the opposite direction and grass-stained up his white tux in no time flat. The wind blew my veil off my head too many times to count. The limo ride and picture taking moments went pretty smoothly if you don't count the 12 times my maid of honor/step-sister-in-law had to use the restroom! We arrived at the reception site and were met by my mother-in-law, screaming, arms flailing and out of breath as she banged on the window of the limo as if she were being chased by a mob of angry men with weapons. She interrupted our Ode to Journey moment as we sang out hearts out to one of the classics to tell us that there were no eating utensils at the reception. No plates. No silverware. No cups for drinks. We finished our tribute before we went in to greet the guests and go on what felt like a wild goose hunt for our wedding planner, if that's what you want to call him. He was in charge of the hall, providing the eating utensils, serving the food and drinks and clean up. He was cheap, but over paid nonetheless. The caterer was still there. She was just supposed to prepare and drop off the food and she waited for me because there was total chaos and she felt bad for me. Now that I think about it, I don't think I tipped her enough. Fuming, I ran up the stairs to the bar area that was not part of the reception hall knowing full well I'd find the guy I was looking for, Larry. I asked him why he was mingling with guests at the bar when he was supposed to be taking care of my reception. He looked at me, confused as if he didn't know what I was talking about. I shared a few choice words not worth of repeating as my husbands best man tried to hold me back. I retreated to the ladies room where my husband quickly met me (we have a picture of that too but I can't find it). He calmed me down and convinced me that everything would be ok and it was just something funny we could talk about for the rest of our lives and that no one has a perfect wedding. After that, the punches just kept on rolling. Larry offered up his best china...which looked like dollar store left overs with chips and chunks missing, not to mention the rainbow of colors and styles. Nothing matched. He also set out a dirty old tub that held a combination of plastic and not-so-silver flatware. There was a bed linen on one of our banquet tables because they 'ran out' of table linens. There was a bare table with NO linen at the end of our head table that they 'forgot' to remove. They bucket of roses that were supposed to be cut and placed on my cake were still sitting on the floor, waterlogged and looking sad. None of the candles were lit. I hand made a good majority of the decor and none of it was hung properly. Several guests pointed out to me, as if it wasn't already bad enough that the table linens had cigarette burns in them and the floor looked dingy and stained as if they did a poor job of cleaning up a puke fest the night before my reception. There were 1970's mirrored tiles on the wall lining the dance floor that were chipped and missing in places. And Larry, the oblivious was no where to be found, again. (He told me almost a year before that the hall was going to be remodeled with new mirrors, new tile for the dance floor, new carpet and new wallpaper) I nearly gave up as I walked toward the bar for a very, very stiff drink and to my surprise, found Mr. Oblivious behind the bar, eating a plate of my food with his fingers as he slopped it all over his face. As if the grease in his hair wasn't enough. I'd like to say there are no hard feelings and I've gotten past it. But after writing this and vividly remembering that day I now know I have a long way to go. We'll renew our vows for our 10th anniversary and maybe then we'll get to take the honeymoon we never had the first time around thanks to the awful colds that had us sleeping separately for two weeks. Maybe we'll just go to Vegas and kill two birds with one stone! Just don't tell Larry, please.

**I forgot to mention our honeymoon....er...the lack thereof...we both woke up the morning after the wedding sicker than dogs and had to ship the kids off to grandma's and sleep on separate couches all week.  It's been 5 years now and we STILL haven't gotten to take a honeymoon or even a vacation.  Married life has been fabulous nonetheless...though I do hope we can take a vacation soon.  Maybe we'll renew our vows this year and then get a honeymoon!