ATLANTA (CCNN) – Washed-out roads and flooded interstate highways are adding to the misery Tuesday, this after several straight days of torrential rain in the Southeast that have claimed at least eight lives, according to the Georgia Emergency Management Agency (GEMA). Authorities are urging people who don't need to drive to stay home, and Gov. Sonny Purdue has declared a state of emergency in 17 counties.

The severity of the flooding has often been described as “Biblical in proportion” by many of the Bible-thumping hillbillies in the hardest hit rural areas north of Atlanta. In an unusual effort to investigate this disaster in a manner that does not blame homosexuals or constantly use the word “sinner”, GEMA officials have invited scientists from Cueball Research and Physics (CRAP) to northern Georgia to look for more objective explanations.

The image above was taken by the Cuescope 3000®, a high-powered microscope developed by the CRAP team. Attempting to explain the findings to the local community, few of whom have more than an 8th grade education, CRAP scientist and Cueball International CEO Crazy Cueball said the following: “It appears that the damage is being cause by this little molecule, H₂O, known by those of you who bathe as water.” Despite being asked several times, Mr. Cueball could not provide an adequate explanation as to why the individual hydrogen and oxygen atoms, as apparently seen through the Cuescope 3000®, are labeled.