So I was fired yesterday, and even though I had a feeling this might happen because of my shoulder surgery, I was still a little shocked. Then I proceeded to get very upset, which did nothing but occupy time that I could have spent otherwise. My head should have exploded from all the miserable thoughts going through it. In a way, it has, but instead of a torrent of unbridled anger and revenge I am calmly thinking about things the best way I know how.
Have you ever heard that song "Maybe God Is Trying to Tell You Something"? During the last week before my surgery, I kept hearing that song no matter what I was doing. It got so I was dreaming about the song and playing it over and over in my head when it wasn't actually on. At the same time I was walking around with a heavy weight in the bottom of my stomach. I am no mind reader, but after being with the same people practically every weekday for three years it is easy to detect a shift in attitude, tolerance, and empathy. It turns out I was right. I also found out that despite all of my hard work, it would be torn cartilage in my shoulder - a completely random event - that forced my professional undoing.
However, I felt a weird sense of peace on the final day of work before my surgery. That song had been running through my mind so much that it really had an effect on me. Anyone that knows me well realizes that I am not an extremely religious person. On the other hand, they probably wouldn't know exactly what to say beyond that when it comes to the subject. It's just one of those things that I feel and can't explain. To me, the depth of spirituality in a person is better expressed by their actions. Regardless of the technical definition of a person's beliefs, the universal aim should be kindness, tolerance, and love.
That last day I found peace because I realized that I wasn't thrilled with the path I was taking in the first place. I can accomplish so much more and do as many amazing things as I set my mind to, and maybe this is the push that I needed. It's not going to be easy by any means, but nothing worthwhile ever is.