My name is Cathi Kersten and I live in South Carolina with my 15-year old identical twin sons, Stephen and Paul, who both have autism.

Before 1995 A.D. (Autism Diagnosis), I never had any experience with autism or knew anyone with autism.  My exposure to autism was black and white photos of children wearing leather helmets, banging their heads against walls. 

My sons were born healthy and I stayed home to raise them.  Being a cautious mom, I followed the immunization schedule and brought my babies to the air force base hospital for vaccinations. 

My wonderful, lively sons were developing normally, when at 17 months, everything stopped and started going backwards.  My boys, stopped talking and only said "bokka-bokka" or vocalizing the same odd rhythmic expression.  They stopped eating and subsisted on cheerios, yogurt, and bananas.  They grew fearful and would "freak out" in public places.  This coincided with the breakdown of my 11-year marriage and going back to college to finish my degree.

I tried to find out what was wrong with my boys.  Doctors at the base said they didn't speak because they were twins or because they were boys, or worse, because I anticipated their needs and wants and wasn't giving them the opportunity to speak!  I even called Dr. T. Berry Brazelton in Boston and shared my predictament.  The famous pediatrician told me to get them speech therapy. 

After a miserable and stressful attempted audiological exam, the technician asked me, in front of God and everybody in a crowded waiting room, if I had considered them to be autistic.  I was shocked.  I spent a year in vain trying to prove they DID NOT have autism, only to have it confirmed by a developmental pediatrician. 

I felt as if I was falling into an abyss.  I was so very, very sad and depressed, and I cried several times a day.  I felt hollowed out.

I asked the first consultant we met , "Will they get worse?"  No, she told me.  They won't get worse and they can get better.  This gave me hope. 

So, my boys grew to love Blue's Clues, Thomas the Tank Engine, being in water (but not the bathtub), being deathly afraid of anything that flew, including butterflies and dragonflies.  Eventually, they began to speak and reduced me to tears when they said "I love you." 

Stephen and Paul have touched the lives of everyone they meet.  We have had both positive and negative experiences with school districts, therapists, and teachers, but mostly positive.  We do run up against the ignorant, spiteful, and mean children and adults.  Thankfully my sons are unaware.

Today Stephen and Paul are loving and affectionate, who are what they are because of their autism.  They have a wonderful sense of humor, love babies, computers, games, movies, and reading and acting out favorite scenes from Star Wars or the comic strip, "Calvin & Hobbes." 

Stephen has been mainstreamed into regular education classes with a shadow and performed in his school musical as The Tin Man in "The Wizard of Oz."  Paul has less language and speaks in passages of dialogue from movies, TV, and books, to convey his feelings.  They both have sensory issues, Paul to a greater degree.

They have weathered their parents' second marriages and have welcomed, courtesy of their father, a year old step sister.  They were adamant that I, however, did not have a baby! 

I fear the future for them.  Last week, a director for the county special needs and disabilities board was arrested for sexual abuse of a resident.  I worry for them.  I want them to be good citizens and love and work and have good lives.  I want them to be independent and their own persons.  I have always wanted that.

I used to think that their autism was a result of the MMR immunizations they received before 17 months of age.  There is no history of autism in our families. 

We are participating in the SC Autism Study and studies being conducted by the Greenwood (SC) Genetic Center.  The boys are the only identical twins in the study.  I have included a picture of us with Dr. Stevenson and Nurse Skinner from GGC.  (In January, they visited us and Dr. Stevenson admired my artwork and wants me to display my paintings at GGC.  I paint abstract acrylics because I love it, and to have a creative outlet, find peace, and relieve stress.)  The GGC is looking at how particular genes work in autistic individuals.  The science is developing and changing all the time.  It is very exciting.  I still have reservations about immunizations.  If I knew then what I know now, I never would have subjected my babies to immunizations at such an early age.  By contrast, my ex-husband and his wife have their daughter vaccinated.

I guess that I am glad to live at this point in time and not earlier and definitely not in another part of the world.  Autism is being publicized and researched.  This can only be a good for autistics and their families.