- Posted November 15, 2009 by
This iReport is part of an assignment:
Losing a loved one to suicide
Losing Our Talented Son, Allen
After years of struggling with Generalized Anxiety Disorder, our son, Allen, took his life on October 13, 2009. For years, our family had been aware of Allen's struggles with anxiety, but were comforted by the stability he found in his 9-year relationship with the "love of his life."
Allen's other love was music. He was incredibly talented, playing the drums, guitar, and in recent years, singing. In earlier years, Allen had been a member of a very successful band, playing venues around the U.S. and in top clubs in Washington, DC.
Allen was absolutely brilliant...for amusement, he would work out complex mathematical problems. In school, he would ace tests without ever opening a textbook. He enrolled in a top notch university, but dropped out after the first semester after he couldn't "will" himself to get out of bed in the morning.
As years went on, alcohol became a crutch for Allen, easing his anxiety, if only for a little while. A month ago, Allen's best friend, girlfriend, and confidant, told Allen that he had stopped "growing" and that she needed to move in a different direction. Without her, Allen's support system was gone and he felt he could not continue living. Later that evening, Allen took his own life.
Our family misses Allen terribly, but we understand fully that Allen lacked the inner strength he would need to make it in this world alone.
Being alone was the one thing Allen hadn't mastered.