Hi;  My brother Richard "Butch" was depressed, had a fight with his girlfriend after a night of heavy partying and blew his brains out in 1983.   His death came 10 months after my mom had died of cancer.   He was 19 at the time.  After all these years, it still shocks me and takes my breath away.   I will never totally get around his suicide.  I still feel sadness, anger, and shame at his death.  My father died 12 years ago and he never discussed the details behind his death.  My 8 year old son knows that I had a brother that died but don't know when/if I can tell him the truth.   I went to some Safe Place meeting many years ago.  They are run through the Samaritans.  It was very helpful to me.    I will feel the pain for the rest of my life; this is truly how I feel.  VIP in peace Butch