- Posted December 7, 2009 by
This iReport is part of an assignment:
Gay or lesbian later in life?
Everyone's Time Table is Unique
Growing up with a father who was a Baptist minister wasn't easy for a sexually confused male. I wanted to do the "right thing" but found myself attracted to guys. I played sports and was involved in all the "typical" boy stuff. In high school I even became a youth leader in my church. I went on to attend a Christian college and seriously considered going to Seminary and becoming a minister just like my father.
My dating relationships with girls all lasted for long periods of time, usually years, before I would get "cold feet" and back out once marriage was discussed. I never once attended a gay bar nor did I know someone that was openly "gay". I just knew that I bonded on a much deeper level with males than I did with females.
After college I spent nearly 15 years trying to deny to myself who I was...a gay man. Finally, at age 38 I began to accept the fact that I was gay (against everything I had been taught in church). Once I came out to my mother and sister (my father had already passed away) I felt a huge weight lifted. Both were amazingly accepting and encouraged me to be who I was. It took a few more years for me to come out to most of my friends and co-workers.
Coming out was the best thing that I could have possibly done. It took many years of soul searching before I could be comfortable enough to admit who I was. Life is good. I'm in a happy and fulfilled relationship and enjoy life dearly. We make each other laugh and we make each other smile. I'm glad I came out when I did....it was the perfect timing to meet my soulmate.
The moment someone chooses to come out is a very personal matter and should be taken with great seriousness. Pushing someone else to come out when they might not be ready doesn't accomplish anything but possible heartache, disappointment, and depression.
Having support during the coming out process is helpful and energizing beyond belief. I hope those of us that have gone through it can be supportive and encouraging to others as they walk the road of coming out.
If you are on that road, please find support, someone that has been there, someone that can walk with you.