I was 12 years-old when I first met Dale. Lost in a world of institutions and dormitories for the last few years. The reasons why are unimportant.

Dale explained to me that he was a social worker, and that he promised to help find a regular home and family for me. I liked that idea! I had no clue what a ‘social worker’ was but he seemed kind. I also did not know what a regular home or family was like. There was a side of me that wished him luck in finding this home. I doubted anybody cared.

Dale kept his word. It took a little while but I will never forget our driving away from the huge and cold institution. The place meant well but it was no place to grow up. I remember, to this day, how much faith and trust I had in Dale. I did not want to show him these things because I was use to disappointment and rejection. I played the tough kid role and acted as if it did not matter. It did though. The ‘tough’ kid act was a defensive wall I had learned to put up, so I could pretend nothing could hurt me.

The foster home he introduced me to became the home he promised. I wish I could say that life suddenly became easier but it did not. I, again, had trouble in school and in this new home. What I did have though were people around me who really cared. I pushed the envelope all the way too. I was convinced that if I acted up bad enough Dale would give up on me and the family would send me away. It was my way of testing and seeing if these things would happen.

Let me tell you, I put this man through some challenges! I was one of his first cases when he became a social worker. I tested him on just about everything. He kept telling me that he cared and I would not be able to push him out of my life. I was one of his kids and he did not give up on any of them. The stories I could share about making his job rough would fill a book. I was a little troublemaker! Once, while sitting in his car, I opened up a small fire extinguisher to see what it would do. He thought he could trust me 2 minutes while he made a quick stop for something. Wrong. When he came back the entire inside of his car looked like it had snowed in it!

I was expecting a loud voice screaming at me, saying how stupid and dumb I was. I was prepared to keep my eyes on his arms and hands. I been smacked around enough to know what to keep my eyes on, and was good at ducking. Dale was never mean but I knew he would not be thrilled about my little experiment with his car fire extinguisher. I was use to quick changes in personalities.

The look on his face, when he returned told me I had nothing to fear. He took a deep breath and shook his head side to side. I also looked like a snowman. I quickly tried to clean things up but only made things worse. What we did next was clean the car. He was not happy about what just happened. Nevertheless, took the time and talked with me about mistake made, and correcting them. When we were done, he even thanked me for helping clean the mess up.

I had this illusion in my head that once I found my mom that she would be there to love me and make my problems disappear. She lived somewhere out west. I knew nothing of her, not even remembering what she looked like. When I was about 14-years old, I ran away in search of her. I took a bus to one of the largest cities in the world, with about $20. Dale was the person I called when I became lost and scared. It was the middle of the night and I refused to tell him where I was. After about an hour on the phone, he convinced me to find a police officer and that they would help me return. He traveled to this huge city and we talked about this desire to find my mom. He explained that she did love me but she had a different life. He asked me to trust him and talk about what I was feeling as he drove us to our home state.

These stories are just one of many I could share about this social worker named Dale. He was the kindest man I had ever met in my life.

This was over 35 years ago. I just talked with him on the phone a few months back. He had recently retired and preparing to move to a new town. His wife and he wanted to be closer to a daughter (who was soon to have triplets). He called simply to share what his new address was and phone number.

Social workers, the next time you are questioning whether your work matters believe that it does. He never judged me or was mean. His voice was the only compassionate sound I heard, during some of my darkest and confusing hours of my young life. We did not always get along and agree on things either. When I became an adult, he helped guide me as a friend.

Thank you, Dale, for being there.

Photography shot at a local park. Wife is looking in the sky during a rare quiet time in our life!

Thanks for viewing.

Interested in more? “In the Shadows of Forgiveness”