In the greatest revelation since the earth turns on it’s axis, Mark McGwire tearfully admitted yesterday that he took steroids during his ball career. His blubbering apology reminded me of his equally sob-filled performance before the House back in ’05. Then he refused to come clean about using, sputtering some nonsense about wanting to look to the future. Yesterday’s confession, already being hailed by meal-ticketed sports broadcasters as sincere, was anything but. It was delivered in the dead of winter so it’ll be old news by spring, when Paul Bunyon becomes hitting coach for the Cardinals. How funny is that? ‘Gee coach, how do I get that extra single a week that’ll keep me in the majors?’ ‘Keep your eye on the ball, time your swing, and oh- upper buttock is the best spot to inject.’

McGwire claims too that he never used performance enhancers- merely steroids to help heal from injury. Even if that were true (and it’s not- ask Canseco) is McGwire so thick, that he can’t draw a straight line from being healthy to hitting more home runs as opposed to playing through pain and adversity and still performing?

All things considered, Mark McGwire’s steroid use isn’t going to stop the aforementioned world from spinning round, but note his sin. In 1998’s home-run race, attempting to pass Roger Maris’ 61 dingers, McGuire and fellow hulk Sammy Sosa (steroids and corked bats) accepted the accolades of the public, and ultimately McGwire received the warm embraces and tears of the Maris family when the mark was passed. All the while knowing they were cheating.

Maris’ mark of 61 home runs is always accompanied in the record books by an asterisk, in that the baseball season had been extended since Babe Ruth’s day when he launched 60. McGwire’s mark of 70 in ’98, Sosa’s of 66 the same year- Bond’s 73 in ‘01 (and his career mark too), all these statistics should be flagged in red as the benchmarks of cheats.

Maris deserves to have his asterisk removed, or at least have the footnote reflect that he made his mark, unlike the others, as a man.