My youngest daughter Victoria was diagnosed with an Autism Spectrum disorder when she was three years old.  She possibly has Aspergers or high functioning autism.  It has been a roller coaster ride ever since.

My wife took VIctoria to her three year check up and her doctor said we needed to have her examined.  I got a call from my wife asking me if I was on my way home and I could tell something was wrong.  I came home a found a referral from the doctor with AUTISM? written in bold letters.  Needless to say, my heart sank at that moment.

We had noticed a change in Victoria's speech and some behavioral changes.

One of the most frustrating things for me has been a lack of knowing what to do and how to help her.  Being a man it is ingrained in my DNA to try and fix things.  I have asked Victoria's therapist, teachers and random people who have tested her, for things I can do to help her.

My wife recently spoke to Victoria's occupational therapist and was given some practical things to do.

The thing that still causes me the most pain is when I have to put aside the dreams and hopes I had for Victoria's life.  It is hard to look at her older sister Bethany and know that Victoria may never be able to have "normal" experiences.

My wife has seen the lack of knowledge and understanding of autism disorders first hand.  People see an autistic child, who has tactile/sensory sensitivity but appears "normal", throwing a fit and automatically assumes that it is because of bad parenting.  Most of society doesn't understand that people with autism, except for in severe cases, look just like everyone else.

My wife sometimes comes home from pretty much anywhere and is completely exhausted.  She has to try to complete what she set out to do and  deal with Victoria's on and off fits and the dirty looks and comments of perfect strangers.

When I wrote the above, I expressed the frustrations, anger, sadness and the broken heart I have felt since Victoria was first diagnosed.  As any parent of a child with autism can attest, it is not easy and it is at times very unpleasant.

That being said, I love my Victoria with all my heart.  She and I have a very special bond that she does not share with many others.