To John, the Vietnam Veteran (retired National Guard), who gave me advice about his home town of Danforth while I shopped in the store he works in, at Houlton, Maine.

When I see you working at Wal-Mart, I am proud of you, because you are one of the strong military folks who get paid for PTSD by the VA, but still manage to work, be helpful to people, and care for your family.

There is a Nam Vet in Danforth, the one we discussed, who got his PTSD $$$, rating, and medical care from the VA, because I set up an appointment with him for a VA counselor. He did the rest. He still works and is an upstanding citizen in Danforth. I admire him deeply!

I think that if veterans can be convinced to COME OUT OF THE CLOSET about their PTSD woes, and people realize that PTSD is not a death sentence, and that veterans with war trauma can still hold jobs and be upstanding people, like yourself, then no matter how you feel about the current wars, our military veterans, returning from the war, in this tough job market, will have it easier than us Nam Vets had years ago.

I am enclosing a copy of a MSNBC story about how returning police officers face additional stress, because I know your career in the National Guard had something to do with drug enforcement. Perhaps your upbringing in this little hamlet of Danforth prepared you to be the upstanding citizen that I see when I shop at Wal-Mart?

Thanks for your service to our country. Thanks for your input. THANKS TO WAL-MART FOR SUPPORTING VETERANS!

It turns out you were right about Danforth, a small hamlet where only people with families, or who use drugs/alcohol, or are Christians, might find friends. You’re a lot smarter than I am. LOL

Just this week, a woman working at the Tim Horton’s in Houlton told me how she liked Danforth, because there are no police. LOL That must be the fantasy of every American, to live in a town with no police department….LOL Come to Danforth, I say! J

Since I got a mortgage on a house when the war started in 2003, I have found out that there is a dearth of VA psychiatric care in northern Maine. The white vets call black people by the N word. And while homosexual and lesbian people get married in public, in Washington, DC, veterans in northern Maine with PTSD, and VA payments for PTSD, hide out in shame, like gay people did in the 1950s.

I first got treatment for my PTSD in 1980 in Philadelphia, and got a rating of 50% in 1999, when I applied for financial aid, and then was given 100% in 2002, dating back to my application in 1999. A lot of guys in Maine now get their ratings and $$$ because veterans like me spoke up 30 years ago. In the city, people are not ashamed of a PTSD rating, but up here in this rural country environment, veterans hide like they need to be ashamed of themselves.

I first noticed this when a retired First Sergeant from Danforth came up my drive, like a scared child, in 2004, and said that, “as we speak, people are looking at us!” He was afraid that people in town would find out he had a 100% PTSD rating like me. This retired First Sergeant was quite a man, and I respected him, BUT IF HE IS AFRAID, YOU ALL MUST BE AFRAID.

Just last week, I talked to a Vietnam Vet from Brookton, who has a PTSD rating, with no money attached. But he is afraid to go in to therapy at a Vet Center because the local people might find out.

Looks like I will die up here in my house in Danforth, as I have now added diabetes to my atria fibrillation, depression, PTSD and other ailments. Gotta’ die somewhere. But the only thing I’d like to change up here in northern Maine before I leave is to encourage all of you brave veterans who have PTSD claims and ratings to COME OUT OF THE CLOSET.

I realize that the local, rural population thinks that PTSD (psychiatric problems) shows a lack of manhood, but the only people who can change that for our military returning from overseas are you older, rural veterans. Either come out of hiding in the closet, and make it easier for the next generation of veterans, or continue to hide in shame, as if there is something you need to be ashamed of.

PS Not wanting to kill people in a war, also makes you a patriot. Not everyone has to agree with the President, and join the military to kill people. THOSE WHO STAND ON STREET CORNERS WITH PROTEST SIGNS AGAINST THE WAR ARE AS PATRIOTIC AS DICK CHEYNEY!

PS You will find this letter on the Internet, posted on my CNN i-Report, using the Google search engine.

Cc: Wal-Mart, Bentonville, Arkansas

VA and Vet Centers in Maine

US Congressman Mike Michaud

RE: The Hurt Locker and War Movies

This was my post to Michael Jernigan’s Blog in the New York Times called,

HOME FIRES: The War Movie You Don’t Want To See

     Michael served in the Marine Corps in Iraq, and was blinded and severely wounded, and listened to the HURT LOCKER while a friend interpreted the visual effects for him.

     My post was on the first of ten pages of posts, got about 60 recommendations, was probably popular because of my HONESTY, and the fact that I THANKED MICHAEL FOR HIS SERVICE!

     You can read Michael’s feelings, about how the movie business is making money off of our dead and wounded soldiers, by typing in HOME FIRES NY Times on Google.

http://opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/03/02/home-fires-the-war-movie-you-dont-want-to-see/#preview

Dear Michael Jernigan:

     Although I was always against the Iraq War, for many reasons, our country owes a great debt to our veterans from all wars.

     So whether I agree with a war, or consider it an immoral objective, I am inclined and forced to say, "THANKS FOR SERVING YOUR COUNTRY," which you have heard ten thousand times (which, by the way, many Vietnam Veterans like me did not hear, or did not want to acknowledge....are we jealous?).

      I had what might be called mild tours in Vietnam (two), but I was drafted while Woodstock Rock Festival was happening, and dutifully answered the call, even though I had no desire to kill anyone at all, or lose body parts to a war. My parents were both in WW II, but in non-combat positions. I was a gentle, shy young man,, the kind of guy who, if you send him to war, he might come back damaged, even though no physical wounds applies.

     One guy in my psychiatric treatment group called me, "RADAR," which for you younger folks, was the sensitive character in the movie called M*A*S*H. I had no career and rarely worked after Vietnam, and have spent my life reading books about our revolution, or civil war, WW II, Vietnam, and other wars, JUST TO TRY TO UNDERSTAND WHAT HAPPENED TO ALL OF US DURING A WAR. Obviously, being a movie fan, I have seen EVERY WAR MOVIE, several times.

     As a shy, RADAR-type person, I was trying to figure out why small issues bothered me, while other guys got shot in the chest, recovered, and then went on to careers after the war. Senator Max Cleland is an example of millions of veterans who went on to great success. A lot of us read the book by Lewis B. Puller, Jr., son of Marine Corps General Chesty Puller, and then sadly heard about his suicide after the book was published. L Even CNO Jeremy Boorda killed himself over a dispute about a medal he was wearing (if you remember, he was the enlisted Navy man who rose through ALL OF THE RANKS to be CNO in the 1990s).

     Why do some people go all out to get in to the infantry, and why do others, choose non-combat arms in fear of the war, and why do others avoid the war? I am not making fun of anyone, but I refer to our leaders, Bill (conscientious objector) Clinton, George W. (keep me stateside, flying the skies of Texas) Bush, or Dick (I'd like to stay in college) Cheney. And then we have other examples, George H.W. Bush, or John F. Kennedy, both men who survived great trauma, and then went on to do great things?

     So, as a person obviously disturbed by war, but having so little of it, and watching every movie I could find about war (and listening to war vets talk on radio, TV, or the Internet), I have come to a similar conclusion.

   I view war movies as ART, as you might go to a museum and look at great art from the past or present. And the viewer of art sees in the art what they are looking for, or perhaps something they never saw before, and then tries to apply it to their view of life? But, in the end, it is ONLY ART, and in the end, VETERANS (and civilian war casualties) ARE MERELY REAL PEOPLE.

     Obviously, I am venting here a bit, about my own small view of life, but then again, what can any of us do? As an enlisted soldier, coerced by the draft in a very, unpopular, losing, pointless war, who never wanted to hurt people, I put my name in for a second tour of duty in Vietnam, just like the character in HURT LOCKER did. I hadn't had enough, and wanted some more of the mild risks I took in large combat bases, and, frankly, most of the country thought I was a SICKO to do so. Especially friends and family, who kept their voices mostly silent, but secretly could not understand the lunacy of my own situation.

     This post to your BLOG may not be in order, and I don't care whether it gets posted. I guess I just needed to write it. Please keep on keeping on, and be proud, or angry, or whatever feelings you have of your service, and JUST KEEP LETTING IT OUT, one day at a time. Thanks for your service. Roger Stavitz in Danforth Maine.