I grew up in Watts during the seventies and eighties. I was surrounded by people who were drug addicted, depressed and criminal. There were very few examples of joyful, peaceful and fulfilling lives. Both my parents were drug addicted, so my grandmother offered to raise me and they agreed. From a very young age I remember having a feeling -a clarity that I needed to take a different path than the one being blazed for me. I saw the results of the path so many people in family and community were taking. Everyone of them were imprisoned often and in the eighties crack cocaine seemed to turn all the insanity up a few notches. The environment was toxic and nearly impossible to escape it seemed. But it seems grace followed me because I wasn't always upstanding. I knew better than to use or sell drugs like many of my peers, but I made silly choices. I didn't apply myself in school entirely. I didn't take full advantage of the opportunities I was given. It was difficult not having an emotional outlet to manage the fear and anger I felt most times. Even so, I was able follow my own path as best I could. Inwardly I was determined not to repeat the painful and agonizing choices I saw others making. I didn't want to be better or have things, necessarily, I wanted to be happy and peaceful. I wanted to find a way to live a life that wasn't plagued by regret,  resentment and anger. I wanted relationships that were loving and authentic. I wanted to be the best me I could be but I had no idea or pattern for that life. Even though I had no idea how or what, I realized I would have to create my life based on the feeling within me, this feeling and desire for freedom would be my map.

The desire lead to a spiritual journey and awakening. It was difficult initially because Chrisitanity was all I knew but that wasn't enough. I needed to find away to discover myself but that was hardly popular in a community and family where Jesus is the only and best thing. Nearly twenty years ago I decided my peace of mind was more important than being liked or accepted, and I began studing New Thought Spirituality. Since then I have studied several different paths including Buddism, Kabbalah, Religious Science and Hinduism. The greatest gift is I have healthy, thriving, loving relationships. My life is sweet and simple, no more chaos and confusion. Well, at least not nearly as much. Before I ventured pass what I knew and into new territory to discover "me", I wanted to die, literally. Both my parents had died of drug addiction and the abuse and abandonment I experienced as a child was heavy on my soul. But I found a path to love and forgiveness for myself, my family, community and country that sometimes seems to value blacks less. I am peaceful most times. I'm living a life of inspiration and transendence and I'm grateful to be alive.